As humans, our death is set in stone. Nobody knows what death is like or if there is really nothing to death. Death is most like that. Nothing. Your organs and human functions rot so its like you are in a dreamless sleep for eternity. How can I come to terms with this. How can a person accept death. How does society deal with this acceptance?
How can I have an acceptance of death? - Anxiety and Depre...
How can I have an acceptance of death?
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Lizz_alva
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From my personal perspective I don’t view death as a final end. It’s more of a transition.
Lizz_alva in reply to
A transition into what exactly?
This is the primary cause of my anxiety/depression. I feel that if I knew for sure that there is an afterlife, my illness would disappear. What is the point of life if it ends so soon? Why do we love people only to lose them because of death? I makes no sense to me. We do not ask to be born. Birth is thrust upon us and then we learn about death. The thought of never again seeing our loved ones who have died is excruciating as is the thought of not knowing what is happening to our children after we have gone. I have spent nearly all my life trying to find proof of an afterlife. People tell me to have faith but faith is not good enough for me. It is just the same as hope and provides no certainty and therefore gives me no solace. My anxiety/depression continues.
fauxartist in reply to
I agree...I think our life energy it you will goes back out into the universe...
I know that death anxiety is an issue for many, and I can see from your last three posts on this subject your searching for answers...and haven't found one yet.... but I don't think you ever will really.... it's a universal question that has been asked since we as humans were first aware of death. It was thought that an animal accepts the death of another and moves on, that's the primal nature of it. Yet we see tribes of elephants who make this long journey to a graveyard of bones from those of their tribe who have passed. And they methodically pick up each one, caress it with their trunks, and then gently set it down and move to the next one. As if they were mourning and remembering.
I see death as just a transition of our energy going back out into the universe, and that I never feel my loved ones are completely gone as I have them with me in my heart everywhere I go. My culture reveres and respects those that have passed. We always mind their graves, have flowers growing and clean the site of any weeds or debris....and in doing so..we celebrate the joy we had with those who have passed. When we have a wake...it's a party, we remember the good times and tell stories that are happy or funny . Of course you mourn their loss...but you also celebrate their life with us.
in reply to fauxartist
I agree, Faux; however, it took me a long time to accept that it is a transition.
fauxartist in reply to
me too.... I studied philosophy just for those simple questions, 'the meaning of life and death'... I have gone to many neolithic sites, and seen the carvings from Native American petroglyph's, all ancient symbols at these sites are mostly about birth and death.... and how it's cyclical from womb to tomb and so on. You see this all over the world in a spiral symbol...and it's always fascinated me. In the Aboriginal cultural, it's believed we live a parallel existence with our ancestors, Dream-time...'We don't have boundaries like fences, as farmers do. We have spiritual connections','Land is the starting point to where it all began. It is like picking up a piece of dirt and saying this is where I started and this is where I will go'. We are stardust, earth to earth, ashes to ashes.... so it never really ends....it's a cycle
in reply to fauxartist
I'm with you on philosophy and passion for learning. I even travel to study and just be in places that are spiritual. Places that very few are interested in lol.
fauxartist in reply to
have you done much with going to the stone circles.... not just stone henge....but like in Ireland, and England..... it's awesome energy....Dombeg is an incredible experience...Newgrange, Knowth, Dowth, Tara Hill.....all amazing.
in reply to fauxartist
Not yet. I tried to get a lot in while in Europe. Unfortunately, television is the best I can do right now.
fauxartist in reply to
in most neolithic and megalithic sites in Ireland for example.....sites are around 5,000 years old and so on. And the original meaning of the symbols has always been debated....but when you just sit and look at them...you can see it exactly...there's a circle within a circle within a circle and so on....then there is a passage way directing light from a solstice event to a carved stone at the end of the passage. Earth and water are the two recurring ancestral themes connecting all things, and to this day, the story's sung or told by the Bards of the Druids who were to carry the family linage and story's, exist today in festivals like that coming soon... Samhain....and in song and poems.
in reply to fauxartist
Never visited Ireland. Maybe one day...........
I'm into Native American historical sites and monuments over here.
fauxartist in reply to
there's one in particular that I found amazing....it's a spiral and at certain times of the day a small blade of light will hit the spiral....and each day it extends...almost like a long term sun dial....it eventually has the blade of light go from the outside of the spiral to the center....
in reply to fauxartist
Very interesting and Cool!!
fauxartist in reply to
It is amazing when I was looking into the meaning of these spirals, they are everywhere, Hawaii....Ireland....North America.... what's up with that?
in reply to fauxartist
I study what I can on this side of the pond.
fauxartist in reply to
I hear ya....I got to the other side just by chance....and wow...it's pretty amazing how limited my world was growing up....I couldn't imagine growing up through the history of the world in ruins and sacred sites all around me...that would have been very cool.
Hi,
Yes this is a tall order. We are all mortal. I have very solid faith in God which honestly gets me through all the difficult things that life brings! Another thing that has helped me accept mortality is that I shifted my nursing specialty a couple of years ago to geriatrics and hospice. I support patients and families through the dying process for work now. I didn't know it at the time, but making this change was a gift for me - I have come to view death as a very peaceful, natural process. I think that working in hospice does this for most people- at first it is very overwhelming and frightening to be in this field, but over time, that fear lessens or even leaves. In psychology this is known as "habituation". It's the same thing as exposure and response prevention. A terrible thing to think I've become habituated to such a mysterious and profound thing as death, but it's true. I have such little fear of it now.
If my anxiety stirs at the thought of death- my death, death of a loved one, I ignore it. Death is inevitable. I focus on the gift of the day I've been given and let my anxiety kick and scream until it realizes I'm paying it no mind. That has taken lots of practice for me but I am doing a pretty good job of it these days.
I agree that it is a gift as well....it's what I learned from a very dear friend going through this process over some weeks, was not to fear death, and there was this twilight hour where she was alert and coherent for a day, as if to say goodbye....and within the week she passed. I learned a lot about humility and kindness and giving freely from her. Every day I would see her, her first words were...'how is your sister doing', as my sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer within two weeks of my friends diagnosis. It we so gracious of her when she herself was facing not good odds.
I think there is the real issue of a fear of death and dying with some people and I think maybe it's more of what the poster may want to look into for themselves with a professional:
Fear of Death Phobia - Thanatophobia
The extreme and often irrational thought or fear of death leads to the phobia known as Thanatophobia. Very severe cases of thanatophobia often negatively impact the day to day functioning of the individual suffering from this condition.
I also have struggled with this and spent some time in a depressive state because of the same issue, death is extremely hard to comprehend. I transitioned through it after really delving into my faith. I am Christian and so I believe that as all died in Adam all will live in Christ. I have also watched a lot of near death experience videos and they all reveal a very peaceful and loving place upon death.
darkshadow in reply to
Sorry but I do not have that source of comfort. I do not believe the Jesus story. I'm glad for you that it gives you relief as it does for many--but not for me.
I struggled with this as well. I am spiritual now, and I have had encounters with those who have crossed. I believe our soul is energy. Energy does not "die". Our bodies are just a vessel. I once read something to the effect that death is the state we are in when we have not been born yet. That's kind of far-out, but it's kind of cool at the same time. 
I am spiritual by nature if that means I am empathetic, emotional and sentimental. I am upset at the suffering in this world especially of animals. I just do not yet have the certainty that would bring me any peace of mind. I wish I did. I long for the knowledge of the reality of spirit but it eludes me and has done for all my life. I am not psychic. I do not have the gift. I have no proof that it exists. Thus, I continue to suffer.
In the Catholic Church we dedicate November to the Poor Souls in Purgatory and November 1 and 2 are the Feasts of All Saints and All Souls. The Feast of all Saints will often feature a beautiful requiem mass. I once sang John Rutter's requiem as part of a choir during one of these Masses. During the Masses especially of November 1 and 2 we have much opportunity to reflect and ask questions.
Sorry but I am not religious in the narrow sense of the word. I think that religions of all kinds have brought nothing but strife and division to the world. People with faith need it to get through life but it does not bring any comfort to me.I simply cannot believe in any of it. I am spiritual but not religious.
Not sure if this thread is still "alive" (sorry, a bit of morbid humor). But darkshadow, if you're still there, I relate. Like you, I think the world's religions are largely rubbish--except for the meditational practice found in a few of them (and arguably all "prayer" is just meditation by a different name).
Even if some reconfigure meditation as a dialogue with a Deity, those of us who don't believe (or can't) needn't do likewise to benefit. Meditation does people good, with or without religion or faith. Its benefits are scientifically proven. I've personally found it helpful and don't begin to believe in any God or gods. I don't know if we're allowed to include links in these posts, but the Healthline site published a list of the "Best Meditation Apps of 2018"--including "free," "free to try," and paid options. If links are allowed, it's healthline.com/health/menta....
I'm not saying that necessarily resolves the difficult issue you've raised. But I've found it gets me close.
Bear in mind that throughout recorded history, humans have struggled to understand the meaning in life that always ends in death. Those of us with depressive disorder seem even more vulnerable to despair in that struggle.
I've felt that terrible despair, but through meditation, I have also found that I can begin to escape it.
Meditation aside, the meaningfulness of life does not depend on whether something comes after it. Life, consciousness and even death are fascinating all by themselves.
Prince's classic "Let's Go Crazy" is filled with both profound irony and wisdom on this subject. Listening to that song (among many others) really "speaks" to me somehow, and helps me find an inner peace and equanimity. Consider how the part about "this life" and "the after world" is true whether there's an "after world" or not:
(Fair Use* Excerpts from "Let's Go Crazy," by Prince)
". . . . We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called 'life
'
. . . .
[I]n this life
Things are much harder than in the after world
. . . .
[I]f the elevator tries to bring you down
Go crazy, punch a higher floor
If you don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around you
"--
--For things could be much worse, Prince seems to say, and we can each make things even better. This, I acknowledge, is my own interpretation of the bulk of the lyrics, which I refrain from quoting in more detail in an over-abundance of caution to ensure that I stay within the Fair Use* doctrine. (If you're inclined, google the song, then read or listen to the lyrics yourself to see what you think.) More Fair Use* excerpts--
"Are we gonna let the elevator
Bring us down
[?]
Oh, no . . .!
Let's go crazy
Let's get nuts
. . . .
We're all excited
But we don't know why
Maybe it's 'cause
We're all gonna die
And when we do . . .
What's it all for
. . .
You better live now
. . . ."
--*Footnote: Forum moderators, please note that the excerpts from the song lyrics above have been carefully selected, limited & presented to fall squarely within legal "Fair Use." See "Is it Fair Use?" at janefriedman.com/the-fair-u.... Quoting them therefore presents no copyright issues and is completely lawful. This paragraph was written with due consideration by an attorney licensed to practice and in good-standing in a US jurisdiction.--
Consider--Prince is now dead. Whether he is now in an "after world" or not, can anyone dispute that some part of him still lives on, sings to us, moves us, and even consoles us--or at least, some of us?
Speaking of moving, you comments moved me Darkshadow. Thank you for that.
Thank you for taking the trouble to post on my behalf. Meditation can be hard for me when I'm down because it lets in all my morbid thoughts which I can't seem to shut out. I have tried it several times without success. In addition to this,I have recently read a book by a questioning but sympathetic investigator into meditation. He and his colleagues have made a thorough and long term study of it even making frequent visits to the far East to consult Eastern gurus or monks with a long history of meditation. He has conducted many experiments where he compared the brain patterns of gurus with mere beginners and with those who have meditated for some years. There are two states of mind which can result from meditation--he found. One is short term and one is long term. In other words, one lasts and the other does not. My point is that it was proved that you need to meditate for thousands of hours in order to achieve a permanent state of serenity--or bliss as they call it. Only gurus achieve this through years of meditating up to 10--12 hours every day. Anything less than this results in only a temporary state of mind. In practical terms, we in the Western world cannot do this. Our meditating can bring relief from stress to a degree but not permanently. We cannot reach a state of bliss --or enlightenment-- by meditation.
This post is exactly how I feel. 😳
I see this is an old post but I wanted to tell you about an author I came across, Dolores Cannon, who has written many books as a hypnotist on past live regression, reincarnation, what happens when we die, what happens inbetween lives and more. They aren’t religious books. They are books based off of 1000’s of hypnotic sessions she has done over 40 years from around the world. It is fascinating reading. I started with “The Convoluted Universe Book II” (there are 4). Something that makes for an easy read is “Five Lives Remembered”. I also love her book called “Between Death and Life”. You can find her books on Amazon. I think it would be beneficial to those looking for answers and those afraid of death.
Yes, I've read about hypnotic sessions where people seem to have experiences of past lives.Unfortunately there are other explanations possible for these experiences: false memories, too much input from the hypnotist, facts read about in books etc. The idea of reincarnation is of no comfort to me. I don't want to be with new souls in another life. I want and need to be with my loved ones from this life.
Look, Just To Be Up Front. NOBODY "Passes Away". They Just "Pass Over".... The Flesh Doesn't Give You Life. The Body Is The Most Sufficient Machine Known To Man. ... However It Merely HOUSES Our Existence. Just Like We Clothe Our Bodies ? Our Bodies Clothe Us. ... And BOTH Eventually Wear Out. But "YOU", The Life Force That Makes Your Body Work, ARE A "Conscious Entity" That Endures Forever... Therein Lies The Real Question....
I'm glad for you that you believe this. It must make life much easier for you but how do you know that it is part of reality?What gives you your certainty? Is it merely wishful thinking or have you simply believed something you have read? Most people choose to believe in order to get comfort and reassurance. This is not good enough for me.I get no comfort from hope or faith. I seek truth which can be substantiated. That's my problem and why I am anxious and depressed.I have read extensively over a lifetime but have failed to find peace of mind. If there is an afterlife, it is hidden from me.
Well, It's Actually One's Perception. It's How Deep You Wanna Go or/ How Shallow You Wanna Think. [ that's just a point, don't take it wrong ] Me ? Personally ? At Age 10 ? I WAS ACTUALLY "DYING" In The Front Seat Of A Car. I Thought I Had Woken Up. Sat Up. Looked At EVERYBODY And Everything And What They Where Doing. Heard Everything They Said Too. I Was Trying To Open The Door But It Wouldn't Open For Me. Yet They Could Get In. As I Turned Towards The Other Door ? BAM !* I Saw MYSELF Lying There !* It's Like The SHOCK Of Seeing That Revived Me !* & I Was Back. EVERYBODY & EVERYTHING Was Exactly As I Saw Them When I Thought I Was Sitting Up. I Could Tell Them Everything They Were Doing & Everything They Said. THEY Were Stunned To Say The Least. Now, I Am 61 Years Old. We Never Were A Religious Family or Anything Like That. Plus, I Wasn't Reading In Books About Things Like That ? Heck ! I Was 10 ! I Hated To Even Read. In Fact ? It Was "YEARS" Later That I Was Shocked To Find Out Other People Had That Happen Too !* [ years after the fact ]... I Know What I KNOW. If My Mom Where Still Alive Today ? She'd Tell Ya All About It. I Did Start To Think Deeper Later In Life, I Thought, "Why Was I Allowed To See And Go Through That" ?* Well ? Here's One Reason Isn't It ? Life Is FAR MORE Than Carnality. You Are Not By Chance.. But ? Those Roads Are For Your Choosing... & Nobody Can Travel Those Avenues But You....
What you say is interesting to me. I take it what you had was a near death experience. Many people indeed say they have had this. Scientists say that the brain can still be active for a time after the heart has stopped so it is not so far not proven as proof of an afterlife. I do not doubt your experience but there is still uncertainty as to what it means. I so wish it were otherwise.
Science Is WRONG. Your Brain Don't Sit up In A Seat & Take In Everything Around You To The Exact Detail And Your Brain Sitting In Your Body Don't See Your Body Lying There In The Exact Position It's Revived In..... Science Don't Know As Much As Science Claims They Know.... And ANY Real Scientist Will Tell You That.. Else ? What's The Use In Being A Scientist ?
I hope you are right. Scientists are cautious and will not accept any theory without proof. They have to be like that. Thank you for your encouraging comments.
I Got Ya. However, Scientists Are ALL About "Theoretic Properties". Not ALL Facts. & EVERY Scientific Considered Fact & Those Theoretic Properties & Opinions Can ALL Be Broken Down, No Matter How Simple or/ Complicated, To A "We Don't Know Level". ALL Of It. Don't Believe Me On Theoretic Properties & Theoretic Opinions ? Just Go To A Library. In Fact, The Libraries Can't Contain All The "Theoretic Writings" Concerning Science. For Goodness Sake, There's Theories Upon Theories To Try & Fill The Void Of Theories....Really Though. How ARROGANT Are We As Mankind To Sit On This Little Tiny Speck Of The Delicate Balance Of Life & Even THINK We Have The Knowledge To Decipher The Vastness Of ANYTHING ?*
Peace & Thanks D-shadow
Someday we’ll all know the answers but for now, I would hope the focus could be on life’s purpose. I say that acknowledging that the fear of death is a real diagnosis and mental condition so I don’t want to invalidate that. I think our purpose is helping others and being of service to others, even if today you only held the door for someone or offered someone kind words. I think we’re here to help one another grow. This group is like a big school of students, mentors and teachers and I think everyone here fills a purpose, even if you can’t see it. I for one, am learning a lot from the group and am very thankful.
That's all very well but I can't help myself let alone others. I haven't been able to get dressed for 3 days. I am exhausted from crying my heart out. I can't eat properly. I have diarrhoea every morning and migraine from stress. No medication has helped me. I hav tried many. I am under the care of a mental nurse and a psychiatrist but this has made no difference. Sometimes deep clinical anxiety/depression cannot be cured. That is the reality I face every day.Any more bright ideas?
Yes, get out today and walk a half mile. If it's cold outside where you live then bundle up. Since you are a scientifically-based person, exercise is scientifically proven to release chemicals in your brain to help with depression. Also, don't tell yourself that you cannot be cured. When you are walking focus on repeating positive thoughts to yourself. If a negative thought sneaks in, tell yourself sorry and then go back to telling yourself positive thoughts. I love you D-Shadow. I'll be thinking about you today. Let us know how your walk goes.
Sorry but I have not been out today. I am still in my night clothes for the 4th day. The weather here is atrocious. I am 79 years old. I think that may be relevant here.
Winter is a tough season for walking outside. Do you have anywhere you can walk inside like an apartment building with halls? Or a mall? You still need to get yourself showered and out of your night clothes. Start there.
I live in a detached house 3 miles from the nearest town. At the moment I don't have the energy to do anything. I trust I will be better tomorrow. Thanks for your advice.
That is your depression telling you that you have no energy. You are physically capable of taking a shower and getting out of your night clothes. Tomorrow is not here yet. Deal with just today.
Heh Lizz - you are a down to earth person - you can't rationalise death - just go with the flow and enjoy those things you like - and keep the relationships which are meaningful.
Having had several near death experiences - one when I was about to cross a junction and the car stopped and it saved me from a collision. It was as if someone up there had stopped the car! Ridiculous! Expect you have many undiscovered talents such as art or writing - hope you find yourself because you have still got a love of love to give.
Hi Lizz_alva,
Someone personally PM’d me to ask a similar question to me about this & I think if you see my answer, it may help you to view death in a different light. Unfortunately because I posted my answer to a blog that I personally own, I’m not allowed by rules to post the link here. If you’re interested please PM me & I’ll let you know how to access it outside of HealthUnlocked so no one gets penalized.
But, what I’d like to understand is:
Are you referring to accepting death as a part of life? Or, as something a person faces due to something that unexpectedly comes against them; such as a, terminal illness, accident, or incident?
Google 'Near Death Experiences' and read some of the thousands of written testimonies (or listen to them on YouTube). You will never fear death if you do. Only my opinion of course.
I was close to death as one could get.i was in hospital after a suicide attempt.i remember slipping away everything went fuzzy like when you switched off a tv back in the day.everything around me was fading away.
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