I work at the local community college as an Admin Assistant. I really like my job a lot.
Tomorrow, Friday is the annual “All College Day.” That’s where all employees on the campus come together for a conference. I went to it last year and had a very difficult time. It’s a lot of people and very clicky. I felt so alone and uncomfortable there especially that I have a phobia of crowds. Afterwards they had a luncheon. I ended up ditching that because my anxiety was on tilt by that time. But I also felt guilty for “chickening out.”
So tomorrow is this year’s conference and I have to go. I’m asking for those of you to help encourage and lend some support. Has this happened to anyone else... such as a crowded clicky conference, etc?
Please send me some good words.
All my best,
MZ
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MrZee
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25 Replies
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I always try my best to avoid crowds i get anxious i start sweating and hands can't stop shaking, can't you bring a friend, someone you're comfortable with might help
Thanks for the suggestion. That’s the first thing I thought of. It’s only for college staff and there’s none of them that I hang out with. So basically I’m on my own. I appreciate your caring and empathy.
I once went on a church bus trip to a shrine in another state. While everyone talked to me on the bus they all ditched me and I wound up walking around the shrine by myself. I wasn’t anxious or anything but I wish my family would have gone with me.
Think it is an idea to remind yourself that it isn't last year's conference that you will be attending. This is this year, here and now. Is it possible for you to sit where you feel comfortable, near an exit or with a colleague that you know well? The role of an admin person is a really important one, a necessary one for all companies and organisations. You are an important part of a team. Unfortunately, 'clicks' are common in the workplace and can be very isolating and uncomfortable. You will be attending this conference to gather information about stuff? Take a notebook and pen and jot down a few things... Look busy, look interested in the conference. Pay as little attention to what other people are getting up to as you can. As for the food afterwards, same thing, you are as important as anyone else and you eat food just the same as anyone else. Go for it, hold your head high and replace those negative memories of last year with new positive ones.
Thank you deborah27 for the positive and productive feedback. For good luck, I’ll have my phone in my pocket with your feedback displaying on the screen. It feels like I’ll have your support with me tomorrow. 😊
Deborah27, that is great advice! MrZee, you can do this. Take notes, people watch and try not to think about those clicks. Hard to do, I know. But focus on the conference itself. I hope it goes well for you.
100%. Post later to tell me how you got on. You have all of us here to support you and there are a lot of us! Just remember that, you are not on your own anymore.
Over the course of time I have had to attend various cocktail parties and work related social gatherings. I think these are awkward for most people. Everyone worries that they will not have anyone to talk to and will be a "wallflower." I have almost always found them to be difficult. Most people don't really enjoy these events unless maybe they are the ones giving speeches and talks. Just do the best you can and it will soon be finished. The main thing, and a really good thing, is that you like your job.
Well, who really likes to go to these events? They are practically mandated. I don't know how yours will be set up, but I would look around for the person who was talking the least, and try to strike up a conversation. The number of people who don't really want to be there is amazing. And there are always a few who have trouble with crowds. It's possible to put in a showing, and leave. Just smile and say hi to a few strategic people before you go.
I was an educator, too. Now retired.
I know you can get through this, and be on your way. No body knows what is behind your smile.
Yea, I know the feeling, try not to focus on the cliquy ppl, try to identify one or two people you like to hang around and enjoy the company of. If it gets too stressful, don’t feel badly to leave for a while for quiet time alone. You can then either return when you feel better or not. The most important thing is that you attended even if for a short time.
I find asking others questions about there roles and what they are getting out of the topics discussed, can be helpful. Make it a point to talk to others, even if it feels uncomfortable. If you find that your criticizing yourself or that you don’t fit in, just softly acknowledge these thoughts, take a few deep breaths and let them go. Your there because you are part of the team, your valuable. The inner critic doesn’t get to run the show tomorrow. I prey that MZ feels peace and comfort tomorrow through his journeys,that his thoughts empower him..amen
I wouldn't feel guilty at all....your doing your best...and it's okay if you need to pass on staying too long or not doing the food thing......just have something else planned as a back door exit plan... and that's your easy out if you feel you need to address you needing to leave to anyone. We cannot help what we have...we do our best with what we have to work with. I would ask your therapist as well what they would suggest.
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Not sure I can get through this day 
Not Sure How Much More I Can Take
I need some support 
Feeling a little lonely. Can I make some new friends?
Time. How much is it and where can I buy some? lol
