I'm tired of apoligizing: This post... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

54,032 members54,497 posts

I'm tired of apoligizing

afraidnpretending
afraidnpretending

This post relates to a friend I've had since childhood. At one point in our lives I just had to walk away from her negativity, her competitiveness and just overall nasty personality. We didn't speak for close to a decade but reconnected 3 to 4 years ago. In the time we were not speaking she fell into and recovered from several years of serious drug abuse. For the most part, things have gone well. We've had some misunderstandings along the way but have managed to right things each time. Last week another situation came up and I flat out said what was on my mind. We hadn't spoken until today when I sent her a text. After receiving a text back I called her and we spoke for a little while. She said she needed an apology from me, which I gave with no problem. Now that it's been hours since we spoke, I'm feeling resentful. It seems I'm always making the apologies yet not very often getting one back??? Should I take a cue and just start asking for an apology when I feel wronged? I'm terrible at arguing but have gotten much much better at speaking up when I feel slighted. I was always letting people take advantage of me but somewhere in the last 9 or 10 years I've stopped taking any amount of BS. How do some of you handle arguments with your friends?

3 Replies
oldestnewest

I think that if you feel that you needed an apology you should ask her. Saying "sorry" isn't a one way thing!

It’s good that you’re getting better at speaking up when an injustice comes up in a friendship. That is SO important in any kind of relationship, especially in a complicated one like the one you’re describing. My advice for arguments with friends is that you should let the problem sink into your brain for a day, then if it’s still bothering you, talk about it. Really dive into what happened and make sure they understand what they did was wrong, but also listen to what they have to say. If you know you’re not one to let things go easily after a day, maybe just bring it up right as situations arise.

what kind of a friend is this that you would always be apologizing to in the first place. Sounds a bit too one sided to me, and certainly not very healthy is your feeling this way. Yeah...you were slighted....they seem to have a feeling of needing to be superior in the relationship....don't give them your power....as a matter of fact, why are you even wasting your time with someone who does not equally give. You deserve better than that.

You may also like...