Only word I can ever use. Does anyone else feel like giving up? It's not the answer, I know. A few years back I was in "Cognitive behavioral therapy" after having a panic attack (aka: day that ruined my life). Over time, things got better...until they weren't. Over the last year, my panic and anxiety and fear have "relapsed." I have normal stress, so Im not sure where it came from. I've been going to therapy to uncover what is going on. I've acquired tools and knowledge to re-train my brain. WELL...I have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other...The devil is "Anxiety" and it almost always wins. How do I get past this? How does anyone? Will these feelings and emotions be with me forever? I feel like Ive tried everything, and i give up.
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bentblue
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bentblue, when you say "I give up", Anxiety listens loud and clear and will play you even harder. What we think is what we get is truer than you think. The mind is a powerful tool that can destroy us with a thought.
Feelings and emotions are part of being human but like anything else in life we want a good balance.
You've taken all the proper steps in going forward but unless you are using the tools daily and not just waiting until you're in a crisis, it won't work.
Being prepared for any ups and downs in life is what it's all about. Thinking positive thoughts, eliminating the negative is imperative for the anxious mind. Anxiety tries to get in the door and once we allow it to even for a moment, it takes over with a vengeance.
Anxiety's symptoms do not have to be with you forever. We may be more vulnerable to stress but it doesn't mean a "death sentence". We can learn through others on this forum as to what they use to gain control of their lives once more. ACCEPTANCE of Anxiety as nothing more than a THOUGHT can be the first step in going forward and gaining control of your life.
When we accept something, we no longer fear it. Without fear, Anxiety doesn't have a chance. I'm glad you found this group. Welcome my friend and know that you are never alone. xx
Hi Harley, I may not always respond but know that I'm always around watching and caring. Everyday there are more and more beautiful people giving sound advice and sharing their own experiences. The forum just keeps getting better each day.
I'm doing really good. I hope the same for you. This site and all the wonderful people have helped me so much. When I start to slip, me and connor my dog go for a long walk and I see all the things I take for granted and I realize I'm glad I'm alive.🤗
What a great update Harley. You have come a long way. I'm glad this site and the great people on it helped you. But it doesn't come without you having worked in getting better. Thank you for giving me a ray of sunshine today. Hugs, Agora xx
Thank you for the words of wisdom. I just wonder..."Will there be a day where I dont 'think' about these feelings?" I understand this will be with me the REST of my life, and its SO frustrating to feel that way. I hate it. And I hate my body for betraying me. How can it do that to me? It just does not make sense!
bentblue, as we learn more about the connection between the Mind and the Body, we will understand the reasons why this happens. Actually, your body didn't betray you.
It's the subconscious mind that carries 95% of our thoughts in charge of keeping us safe and out of harm's way. The thing is that it does not think rationally as the 5% of the conscious mind does. And so, anytime there is stress or fear, a red flag goes up in trying to protect us. Most of the time, it is a false signal but our bodies don't know that and react accordingly.
Anxiety is a learning experience as to what works for us. Living in the Present Moment in our minds has been proven to counteract the terror and fear we feel. When there is no past and no future to worry about, the Present Moment has a way in calming us down. There is a "3minute Mindfulness Meditation" by the Honest Guys which is worth listening to. It gives you an escape into the present moment. Referring to it daily can retrain your mind in not worrying about anything but NOW.. xx
I can feel your pain and despair. I’m so sorry. Its very discouraging to ‘beat’ the anxiety and panic, and then have them come back. Its happened to me this year. I can identify the causes...and yet. My therapist however had an interesting insight, which is maybe Im now more in tune with my body and mind and that this return is telling me to reevaluate my life and make changes. In that sense, they are not my enemies but ‘antagonistic ‘ helpers.
The following resources can potentially change everything for you, and anyone suffering with anxiety! Agora1 has some very wise things to say, and I'm very happy to see you her words! I echo them!!
The main points you can take away from the resources at the end of this post are:
1) Anyone can recover
2) Changing the way you think about anxiety (this is CBT) by changing your attitudes, beliefs and behaviors (all intertwined) will get you to recovery
3) Fearing anxiety and having the attitude of "Will I always feel this way" is what keeps people stuck.
Please know that CBT is difficult to administer. I would say that quite a few CBT therapists are not up to the task. Look for a really good one who really understands anxiety. And do your therapy homework! all of it. I'd suggest CBT workbooks for anxiety too. Most I've seen are excellent.
Let me give you a sense of the magnitude of change that needs to take place in order to recover from anxiety. But once people start practicing this new way of thinking, they are so completely on their way...!
"I WANT anxiety. Why? Becuase it's totally harmless. I WANT panic. Also- totally harmless. I AM COMPLETELY OK with feeling anxious. I am completely FINE with PANIC ATTACKES! Because all of it is harmless, and it makes me alive, and human, and interesting, and allows me to relate to others in very intimate ways. And I repeat to myself over and over, CANNOT HARM ME in any way. I fear things but that is NORMAL. Others fear things, too, but don't react to the feelings- the physical sensations, the terrifying thoughts, like I do. Somehow I got confused, and bewildered about the way I felt early on, and it led me to add anxiety to anxiety, and I can reverse that by learning how to not fear my anxiety."
NORMALIZE the way you feel and you will slowly but surely start to feel better.
Then, go out into the world, little by little, and start facing your fears one by one. Instead of reacting with dread and more fear to the anxiety that inevitably comes, embrace it. Practice this new way of thinking. Start smiling through it. Breathe, smile, feel ALIVE amidst all the anxiety! Remind yourself over and over, it's just a little adrenaline. It's nothing. It's utterly normal and common. Keep facing your fears, over and over and over again, until they become less terrifying.
You see, Anxiety is watching as you do all of these things. It shudders and says, "What on EARTH are you DOING!! Here's some adrenaline for God's sake- Don't talk to him/her - don't do this or that - Run!! but as you do it over and over DESPITE the panic and the fear, anxiety eventually takes note. "Huh, I don't get it. We didn't die. I thought we'd die for sure. But we didn't. Huh, I must have gotten it all wrong... and wait, her reaction to all these weird feelings is different. There's no reaction. I don't get it. Maybe none of this is dangerous after all?""and anxiety finally, finally starts to quiet down.
Anxiety is a total paradox. We can't accept and normalize many conditions away- but anxiety responds beautifully to exposure (doing things that really poke it with a stick), acceptance and normalization. Which is one of the many reasons why I think anxiety is NOT an illness AT ALL. Stop adding second fear to your anxiety. Stop being afraid of anxiety. It's JUST A LITTLE ADRENALINE, that's all. The same chemical that courses through our bloodstream when we watch a horror movie, or ride a scary ride at the amusement park.
Open your mind to a totally new way of thinking about your anxiety.
Embracing and practicing the changes is terrifying, time-consuming, patience-requiring, and difficult. It's like learning a new language or new It's like that - hard. But then again, all the best things in life come from hard work.
Here are the resources I highly recommend!
Claire Weekes- her books her audio and there r some videos out there too. The best I’ve found is here: youtu.be/REOdAWCv-BQ
Paul David’s book “At last a life”
Dr David carbonell’s website
Acoachcalledlife.com- Swamy G’s website (please note he is laissez faire about marijuana use in anxiety and I disagree with that viewpoint, but his site is otherwise phenomenal)
Hugo rock’s website
One more: “nothing works”- an amazing online essay on anxiety from an ex-sufferer. Link here: web.archive.org/web/2013092...
It is a gradual process. Once I was on my way there was no stopping me!
BTW if you can find a good CBT therapist to go along this journey with you, that is always a good thing. I didn't have one but I believe they can be tremendously helpful if you find the right one. If you don't have a therapist, I think that is often just fine- recovery comes from within YOU. You will make the necessary changes! You are on a remarkable, life-changing journey that is potentially teach you so much about yourself and about life. Embrace it! You CAN recover!!
I feel your pain. Been there and done that. I was in an abusive marriage, which I jumped into to get out of an alcoholic parent home. Although I was a therapist myself-my days and nights were dark. As a former therapist, I administered the CBT therapy, horticultural therapy, psychosocial formats-you name it. Not just to my clients, but for myself. I tried lots of kinds of religions along the way, but nothing helped. Until...Want to know what worked for me? I found Jesus. For real! I thought it was all a hoax and my therapy mind couldn't wrap my head around how he could be real when I can't see him. Well-for kicks I started reading my Bible and realized he is real! WHATTT? No, really. He is. So my favorite passage about anxiety is this: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7. Am I peaceful all the time? NOOOOOOOO! I get anxious still, pretty often, BUT when I feel that way, I remember the directive to pray and tell Jesus/God all of it. And, when I do, I immediately am at peace. Really. You've tried everything else...I say, give Jesus a try.
I have felt this way so much in the past 2 years which have been the worst of my life. Whenever I think about giving up, I try to think of at least one thing to stop me. Whether it is someone you know would be lost without you or even whether it’s a simple thing like well shit if I do die who will feed my dog/cat? Just one reason every day is sometimes enough to get me by. The sad thing is that, in my opinion, I do t think it ever will go away. For me, it’s been lurking under the surface my whole life. Having an outlet has been helping me though I have started writing and singing again and also am trying cross stitching. Just anything that can distract you for awhile would be nice. I would also say to start thinking of the very simple things in life that you appreciate. It could be the fact that you have a bed to sleep in, the beautiful sunset, your favorite drink, etc and try to go out and do more activities that you know you would enjoy if anxiety/depression weren’t a thing and enjoy them anyway. You only get one life, and as far as I’m concerned you are a bada** who has already survived so much. You can do this!!! I am always here if you need to talk.
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I feel like giving up
This isn't working. I give up.
giving up
Giving up
