Hi- I’m new here. I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, and PTSD for most of my life I guess. I’ve tried many medications and therapies, but hoping to connect with others who have been there and can relate. I started PTSD processing therapy in June and recently had the 1 year anniversary of my Dad’ passing, so find myself spiraling downward. In addition, my son’s friend took his life last week. They hadn’t been as close the past few years, but finding that it’s really hitting me hard, as well. I’ve been in this place many times before, but hoping to find support and offer the same in return for others.
Thanks for listening.
Written by
Krissyann
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I'm very sorry about your Dad's passing and your son's friend's suicide. Life can be so difficult at times but know that brighter days lie ahead. Glad you reached out here, it's a great Support Network ❤
Hi Krissyann and Welcome. I read your Profile and as picture perfect as your family life may sound, you've been hit hard by many life events as well as health issues. I'm also sorry for the loss of your father and your son's friend.
Sometimes everything seems to hit at once and takes us down with it. I'm sure the anniversary of your father's passing has made you feel as if you are spiraling down.
I'm glad that you did find this wonderful support group. Reaching out to others in our times of need can help immensely by helping us know we are never alone in whatever life throws our way. Give yourself time to grieve. Take one day at a time. Work on taking care of yourself through your PTSD therapy. Try to focus on the good things in your life and not all the sadness around you.
Give that grandbaby a big hug and embrace the love you have around you.
We are here for each other, walking the journey together we are never alone. xx
I’ve always been shamed for crying, but your words are making me cry and it’s a great thing!
Hi Krissy, it sounds like life has got you beat up and you’ve been getting by as best you can but cumulative losses have added up. I can only speak for my self and experience that grieving is so important for the soul. Deep grieving and going through all the losses, from childhood on. Grieving how your mom treated you, the loss of your first love your dad, the loss of health. Then community and connecting with others, as we help each other heal. As for me, faith is the bedrock of my life now. I do take medication, I journal a ton, I cry a lot I guess this past year has been a season of sorrow for me. My relationship with my mom was very difficult, and I harbored a lot of resentment for her up until this past year when I finally worked through all my pain. I think you are doing the right things, but grief is a journey. I also suffer from anxiety and depression, I became agoraphobic and find it hard to feel safe. This is also a daily issue with me, but sharing and connecting with others helps a ton. My warmest hugs to you.
Thank you so much for your support and words regarding processing grief. In starting my PTSD therapy, I’ve been told I avoid/block my feelings, so am trying very hard to begin to feel those painful losses. Lots to do, but trying to remind myself that this is a journey. I, too, find journaling very therapeutic. Thank you for renewing my hope. 💗
Hey there Krissyann, I’m Kayla! Nice to meet you & welcome to the site! <3 I’m so sorry to hear about your daddy & your son’s friend. That’s terrible. I attempted suicide a few months ago & I am so thankful that I’m still here. We are a supportive group of people & I hope that you get the support you’re looking for from all of us! This site has helped me tremendously! If you need someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to reach out to me! I am here anytime! Hugs & love to you! Stay strong! <3 xo
I am so glad that you are still here too Kayla! I see how many people loved my son’s friend, who took his life last week, and it is so amazing the impact he had. One of the things that I have read during this time and have been working on myself is to remember that everything is constantly changing, including the weather, health, family and friends, jobs....nothing is permanent.....including how down and sad we may feel....it will get better....this too shall pass. It’s amazing the impact of the responses (yours and others) has made me for me to feel so validated, supported, and loved!
I wish we could sit across from each other and talk about the many ways we try to navigate through life looking for hope and stability. Sometimes it comes from within, or from our faith, or it can come from others who show they care. I have lost family members too, so my heart goes out to you because I know what it feels like.
In this lifetime, we all face sorrows and trials, and that's why we need each other. I used to feel self-conscious about exposing my struggles with others because I thought they would perceive me as being weak or inferior. But I have learned that in order to grow we need to make intentional decisions to get past where we are by taking the next step.
Anxiety and depression are rooted in fear; from circumstances beyond our control, grief, unmet expectations, rejection, and things like that. But it also involves hormonal and chemical imbalances in our brain. And thankfully, functional doctors have found a way to correct those imbalances.
Medication can bring some relief, but never targets the real reason why a person feels helpless in the first place. Have you considered counseling? Finding the right person is paramount when you are looking for healing and hope. Maybe you can make some phone calls and see what is available to you. I think you will feel so much better being connected to someone who can feel what you feel, and who knows how to listen.
I am so glad we had a chance to meet here, and if want to talk more, I hope you get in touch. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts.
Thank you so very much for your kind words Lady04. I do have a therapist and psychiatrist, both of whom I found about 2 years ago and they are both beyond amazing. I have been in therapy and tried many different things for the past 20+ years. I am on meds, but am a poor metabolizer of the P450/2D6, which metabolizes most anti-depressant medications, so am on a very low dose and have been told that I have “treatment resistant depression”. So, I will probably not ever be outside of this struggle, but continue to try everything possible. That is why in June, despite feeling down, I started PTSD processing therapy and my therapist is amazing. I pray that working through the pain of my childhood and really look at and sort through my thinking processes will help to lift some of my darkness.
I agree that so much of my depression, anxiety, and PTSD is rooted in fear.
In finding this group, I feel a newfound light and energy to share my story in hopes of helping others as well as myself.
Sorry to hear you are going through this. But you should know that you aren't alone. I see you've tried medications and therapies. Have any of them helped?
Have you considered reaching out to a pastor or mentor? I know anxiety/depression can be debilitating and having someone with a deeper sense can often be relieving. Also here (bit.ly/2hwXnqH) is a list of articles you can read. Reading and learning helps me understand struggles in an academic/scientific approach. Hope to hear back from you.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
xx
Help with spiraling! 
Downward spiral 
I’m spiraling...
I am spiraling, and it’s a bad one.
This anxiety spiral feels like it will never end
