Anxiety and Depression Support
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Too Needy

So I’ve been told by many people that I’m too needy. Yet somehow this doesn’t make sense to me. Yes I am someone who can be a bit intense most of the time. But I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t be there for someone when they need help. Especially when it’s someone you know. Am I wrong here?

69 Replies
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Hi Emily,

Are these family members or friends? It doesn’t matter, I guess. Do you think you’re too needy?

People are afraid of what they don’t know and they sometimes use the excuse of being too needy because they only have so much to give.

If you feel you are too intense maybe you can talk to them about you. About your intensity, feelings and this is you.

My family don’t understand me and avoid me. It hurts but I feel they’re a selfish bunch.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong here. Discuss it with them and have them clarify needy. Tell them what you want and would like.

I need to do that but like I said my family is selfish.

And always use the words “I feel” when talking about yourself. No one can take your feelings from you. I know you can do this! Take care. 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

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Thank you!! I am an intense person but it’s only because I care with all that I am. I guess people don’t like that from what I’ve experienced.

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I'm intense also, maybe that scares people away, but then to me they don't care & I don't need that around me. Wishing you all the best. Love & Hugs!!!

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Right and wrong. With me I have been told by BF and daughter that they want to be my friend not my therapist...

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I’m trying to be less intense. It’s hard when it just happens naturally.

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Be kind to yourself. I write poetry which serves as my BF. Focus on the needs of those around you too. We all have a story...

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Emily, you just continue being you. Be good to you. 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

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Good Morning, beautiful you! Love & Hugs!!!

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Good Morning Beautiful! Love & Hugs!!!

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Good Morning, beautiful you! Love & Hugs!!!

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I'll bet these same people would then find fault if you changed- like "We miss the old you." Put up a big stop sign in your head, and do what you enjoy. How is the new job search coming?

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I’m just starting. So far so good, I guess.

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That is great! The best to you- what kind of job do you want?

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Anything that has to do with accounting. But the job must have benefits. I don’t have any right now and it’s a nightmare!

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Wow- ! In our area, if someone works full time ( and frequently part time- ) people get benefits. I think that is why we need medicare for all- studies have shown that that businesses and the economy in general would save over seven hundred billion dollars a year!!!!!!!

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You're a!n account? You should be able to find something. I hope you can get into a public job and get some benefits!

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Poetic2,

Who are you supposed to vent to, the mail man? Humans are naturally social and we want someone to talk to. I’m sure your BF and daughter talk to you about things going on with them.

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Not at all, it makes perfect sense to me....that's what family & friends should do, be there! Some , I guess, just don't understand or want to. Love & Hugs!!!

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I’m on the hunt for genuine friendships:)

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So am I, I'll be your friend, does that sound good to you? Love & Hugs!!!

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Yes!! Well I’ll call this day a success haha

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Wonderful!!! I'm smiling are you? Love & Hugs!!!

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I am! :)

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It's fantastic isn't it? By the way you are one beautiful gal!!! Love & Hugs!!!

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Aww thank you!! That’s always nice to hear

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My pleasure, have a joy filled day! Don't forget now I'll always have an ear for you to listen! Love & Hugs!!!

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Same to you! I really appreciate that. I’ll probably take you up on the offer soon.

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I'll be here beautiful! More love & hugs, we can't ever get too much!

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Me too!

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Go girl, hahahaha!!! Have a beautiful day! Love & Hugs!!!

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To me anyway a real friend accepts you as you are- so what if you are "needy?" You're not made of cardboard, right? Also, are these people "perfect? I sincerely doubt it- they are human.

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Hey, I have an old friend who calls me "odd." It's something we laugh about- she says I stand out!

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I like that! Being different is a great thing!!! Love & Hugs!!!

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Where are you located?

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I am told the same thing mostly by my best friend. I’m not needy I just really care and they mean a lot to me. Sometimes I just need to be reassured. Remember depression is a disease not a choice

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I need reassurance pretty much all the time. I’ve lost many friends over the years and now I’m not sure I have a place in this world.

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You have a place in this world. You will find people that understand

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Sounds like you are being authentic, and who are these people you feel judge you?

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Family, friends, boyfriend.

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Be proud of who you are, and if they are so concerned ask for some constructive suggestions. I'll bet they won't think of a thing! Being passionate is a good thing- it's the passionate people who bring caring and change into the world. Apathy doesn't cut it.

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I think you should be proud of who you are and own your passion. Unless your personality bothers you and affects your ability to form friendships and relationships, I wouldn't try to be something you are not.

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Thank you! I love me and I wouldn’t want to be any other way.

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Great!!!! So.... you answered your own question. We all can learn something , but if people just criticize without communicating , what good does that do? Hey, I read something in psych today that really blew my mind- saying that people only focus on negatives if others make mistakes. That they do not remember positives. Isn't that silly?

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That is way beyond silly my friend!!! Positive is what it's all about!!

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Yeah, and like people are supposed to take the articles seriously- when there are pictures of people who look like models all over it. Double silly!!!!!

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It's dumb to buy into all of it. They are all photoshopped, nothing real there!!! I'll stay real & authentic!!! Love & Hugs!!!

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Me too! Hey, I've made some doozies of character flaws or mistakes- well at least one- and I am still standing!!!!

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I'm right in the club with you, hahahaha! XXX

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Well I’m doomed then lol

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It shows how silly the article is!!!!!! No, you are not doomed- not by a long shot!

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You are in no way ,shape or form doomed, stay positive!!! Love & Hugs!!!

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I used to be needy when I was younger and was not in good state: crisis period in my life. What I have learned at that time : if somebody let you to be too needy and rely on him/her, you ( in this case I am talking about myself young one) are becoming too dependant on that person and don’t learn how to take care of yourself, how to cope and become your own ... parent, or caring friend. Basically it did not do any good for me, and eventually the person I needed so much got tired of me.

I don’t know if this anything like that with you, it might be totally different “needy” what I used to be then. As of now I am trying not to be like that... and also people around me would not let that happen: they like me to be strong and cheer them up or calm them down... not the way around.

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I’m always afraid that I run people off:/

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You won't run me off, I'll be like a fungus for you, hahaha, hard to get rid of!!! Love & Hugs!!!

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You are so kind and wonderful. Thank you for being here, on this site

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Thank you so much but I'm really just being me!!! Love & Hugs!!!

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I loved what anxiety 59 said, and also I'll add- we can be "oddballs" together!!!! That is a compliment.

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Hopefully, the people around you will also be there if you fall also. Nobody is a rock- we are all human.

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Also, I think a real friend will bring out the strengths in you not just criticize you. Also, what is "needy?" Lots of people it is said are isolated now especially in the USA- people need to stick together more- I think not just when it suits them for their own needs. We do not live in a vacuum.

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Exactly! That’s the kind of friend I am. I may not agree with what you did but I’ll still be there for you.

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Of course- !!! People should be honored to have you as a friend. Also, what is too needy? If you need help- that is what family and friends are for otherwise they are just what used to be called "fair weather" friends only there for the good times- that is not a friend.

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I just constantly need reassurance and emotional support.

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I think it's called being human. Hey, other some other animal species stay with the herds or pods or life. In some countries/cultures the families even the extended members stick with each other throughout time. In the USA- we are urged to be independent even if we live close by or far away- it's do your own thing. BTW- it was my generation who invented the term "Do your own thing." But it was also "Do your own thing" and be together. Huh??? LOL!

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I’m also too needy. I never seen a reason that it was wrong. I call it passionate. Are you an empath?

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I’d like to think I am:)

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Then you are 😋

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I, too, am incredibly intense. I react based on feelings. I always feel like I'm running out of chances. For example, my husband has shut down because he doesn't know what to do to help me, and has stopped trying. This makes me feel even worse, and I continue to react and react and react. It's a terrible cycle. I don't think it's that people close to you don't want to help, they just may not know how. That is total speculation, and based on my own experience. It could be totally different for you. I hope that you find the resolve you're looking for!

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Girl, I am the same way!!! I am extremely deep & intense. I guess that’s why I’m single & don’t have any friends anymore either. I’m here for you. We can be needy together. I hope you’re feeling better! <3 xo

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It sounds like these people really don't appreciate you. What a shame. Sounds like you're an awesome person.

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