Following up with my experience. Work is getting more stressful cause there is so many projects going on, but nothing I can't handle. But I've been getting better because I've been avoiding my boss as much as possible, which is getting easier yet inconvenient but better to take care of my health than make him make me feel like crap.
I really hate that he always makes me feel like crap. Yesterday, I was trying to take out my notes so I can write down what he is saying, and his face was like "why the f*** are you so damn slow". I asked for him to repeat what he said, and his voice was definitely frustrated. (maybe that was me thinking that though. I don't know. ) I just wanted to cry.
I went home for lunch, feeling the anxiety come back, but I pushed it away. Told it to shut up and that I got this. Also, I was having a phone interview. But it didn't seem like the girls was excited to have me. But I hope to join because it's a industry I am very interested (if anyone prays, please pray for me that I get this job).
Overall, I feel a little better. I also gotten closer to my co-workers cause they are know how difficult my boss is to work with since they kind of work with him. I feel like I have someone to relate to or talk to a little about how I feel about work. As much as I like them, I do want to get out, I can't stand being around this place because of how my boss makes me feel. I honestly feel like I am such a weakling cause I can't handle being around a complicated person like him.
However, I can't change who he is, but I can change my career, my life, my choices, and my happiness. And this is me standing up to my anxiety and depression to shut the hell up cause I will be successful and be strong.
And I hope that everyone knows that too. That all of you have been supporting me and helping me all deserve to be happy. And those who I have not talked to you yet, you too deserve to be happy.
I do feel like crap all the time, but telling my symptoms to shut up and moving at least one step or half a step forward will allow me to get better.