Hate my job : I’m 20 years old and I’ve... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Hate my job

Leigh97 profile image

I’m 20 years old and I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression for years. Recently I’ve really been struggling with my job, I’m a restaurant supervisor at a busy hotel and I did love my job but the past few months I’ve found it hard to cope. My boss shouts at everyone for anything, makes me feel like I’m stupid and we feel like we need to tip toe around him and other mangers also my restaurant manager and team members are lazy and less experienced than myself. I’ve been in the industry since I was 13 and have trained at college and use to have love and passion for the industry.My depression started getting worse when I started my current job, do I need to find another job in the industry or start fresh with a new career? I find this a difficult decision to make as my boyfriend of 2 years is a chef and we work together and hope to open our own restaurant in the future.Please help!

4 Replies

Hi Leigh97,

That sounds stressful! Interestingly, I just contacted a few people to help them with a presentation I give & call “Make the Work You Do Work for You!” It’s for people like yourself who feel like their current job is difficult to deal with.

That being said, there’s so much that could be playing into why your experience at work has shifted from you loving it to hating it. And, that’s something that can’t be figured out 100% in a forum thread. But, here’s a few things you can do that can make your experience a little more bearable until you decide what it is you want to do.

Know It’s Not You

It can be difficult dealing with a difficult boss, but keep in mind that the way they handle things is not always a reflection of you. If your boss wasn’t always like that and suddenly became like that, they could be going through some personal issues that you don’t know about. And, unfortunately, she or he hasn’t figured out how not to take their stress out on others. I also know this from a personal experience when I was in the heights of my depression and anxiety years ago. I had difficulty properly expressing myself in the work environment while I had to put my grandmother in a nursing home and watch her decline. The fact is, we never know what others are dealing with in the areas we’re not privy to.

Take the Initiative

You mentioned your team manager & team members are lazy. Of course, I don’t know what that means is not happening that should be happening in your world of restaurant supervision. But, you being a supervisor, who has more experience, have some opportunity available to you to see where things can be improved. This is not to complain. But, to understand where some shortfalls are in the processes that you all use, and perhaps make suggestions or changes in how they can be done better. One thing I can tell you as one who has led teams for many years, is if team members are unclear on what’s expected of them, or if processes in place aren’t effective and your teammates are too apprehensive to speak up, they may slack off. In doing this, to stay away from “complaining” that she or he is doing too much of or not enough of, just focus on the strategy & process steps of what could make work more efficient. Then, assign the tasks to appropriate individuals. Instead of looking at this problem as opposition trying to make you shrink, look at it as an opportunity to shine, and strengthen your supervision skills. Also, if you and your boyfriend open a restaurant, you’ll have employees. What would you do to ensure they were more productive? This could be your training ground to gain more understanding and experience on how to do that.

Search Deep Within

As for whether or not you should look for another job in the industry, or change career paths, I cannot tell you that. No one really can. Only you, once you begin to dig deep within yourself, can determine what you want to do with your gifts and talents. But, I’d want to caution you to not run away from a job because of problems you encounter. This is something I did for years too. Only to find myself in a similar situation elsewhere because every job has problems, and can employ similar types of people that were in your past jobs. It wasn’t until I realized that I had to learn how to better deal with difficult people, in order to make the best of working with others who are unpredictable. That being said, I want to ask you this question: How much do you love what you do to the point in which you’re willing to stick out the tough times, and let them build you & not break you?

In addition, follow your own destiny’s path. Don’t do what you do because your boyfriend, friend, or because it’s a generational family business. If it’s not for you, it’s ok, it’s not for you. You and all else around you will be more content when you operate in the fullness of who YOU are, and not what anyone else wants you to be or what you think you should be for others. If you choose to change careers, you can support your boyfriend’s restaurant endeavors in other significant ways.

I truly hope these few things help. There’s a lot more that can be done, and a lot more you may need to discover. But, may you be blessed with peace and patience so you can come into all of what you were designed for, in the right time, as you go forward.

Hi Leigh97, I would like to give u my opinion, I understand where u are right now, I am professional chef and a chocolatier. It's hard to combine anxiety and working under a lot pressure. Most times taking breaks helps reduce the stress. I run a bakery here in Glendale Arizona, it's a lot of work, but taking breaks or some time relieves the stress and helps u think what u want to do next. Think about it before u make a decision

Hi Leigh97!

I’ve found through the years that difficult people are everywhere on every job! There’s no shortage of these folks! Amazing! I’ve been on my new job about 3 weeks and have pretty much identified who the drama queens are, who’s lazy, who to stay away from, and who to ask for help! For me, it’s all about trying to keep a positive attitude and making the most out of any situation. I don’t always succeed, but that’s what I strive for! Wishing you the best!! 😊

Only you can decide if you love the industry. If you want to change career paths then this is the time to do it- believe me. I like what Gratitude said as always about having all types of characters in a place of work. If you love what you do and have plans that is one story. If you hate what you do , that is another. You can always talk to a voc counselor as well.

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