Hello

[hrand00]

Hi, just joined tonight. I’ve suffered from depression for longer than I can remember. I’ve changed meds at least 3 times, and I feel like I’m just getting worse. I’m angry all the time. I’m sad all the time. I want to care about things, including my health, but I just don’t. Thought I’d try a support group.

[SamuelJ52]

Hey sorry to hear your having a difficult time.i spent years in a largely depressive state. Finding the right medication has helped a little, I'm on Sertraline (SSRI) now but past medications didn't do anything for me. What also helped me immensely was getting to the route cause of my low mood, it turned out I was addicted to porn and had no idea that was even a thing that could happen and that it could have a very real negative impact on brain reward centers just like any other addiction. Obvioisly everyone is different but perhaps there is something you can change or take control of, like diet and excercise to give yourself some wins. Also I cannot recommend mindfullness meditation enough (the headspace app is great) I've been doing it for three weeks now and the difference is surprising, I'm not getting trapped in cycles of negative thought anymore as I can recognise the negative thoughts arising and realise I don't have to identify with those thoughts. Your thoughts are not you, they are just expressions of consciousness that are fleeting and transient.

[hrand00 in reply to SamuelJ52]

When I exercise regularly it’s better. My diet is horrible right now. My combo now is Prozac and Lamictal. It helped for a while, but like all my meds, it seems to wear off after time. Maybe the placebo affect. I want it to work so it does. I’ve had a back injury for the last couple of years, making it hard to work out at my top performance. That doesn’t help either. I’m seeing a new chiro/pt that’s been helping my back a lot. I don’t like being angry. I’m so angry all the time. It’s almost like I look for things to be angry about.

[SamuelJ52 in reply to hrand00]

It sounds like you're taking positive steps addressing your back pain, chronic pain is such a bummer, my partner has a lot of back trouble, you're not alone there. Mindfullness meditation will definitely help with anger, it helps your body remember how to be relaxed and calm as well as your mind. Watch this clip from Sam Harris' book on mindfullness and spirituality, I found it immensely helpful and if you're curious but skeptical about it Sam Harris is great starting point , he's very skeptical in his approach.

youtu.be/pTrrRoBZSpg(Not working as expected?)

[hrand00 in reply to SamuelJ52]

It’s something I’ve looked into. I do something called ROM WOD, kind of like yoga, and they focus on breathing pretty heavily. I will watch the video. Thank you.

[live2fightanotherday in reply to hrand00]

just saw you mentioned Lamictal so I guess disregard my comment. Dealing with chronic pain from an injury on top of mental health concerns is never fun - I'm dealing with the same thing. Any specific insight when it comes to Lamictal with an SSRI? I'm assuming you have unipolar depression too.

[hrand00 in reply to live2fightanotherday]

I felt a lot better in the beginning, been on this combo about 4 years. I’m feeling like I may need a change again, maybe a dose increase.

[EastbayTom]

Well, it sounds like you are a fighter, and you are determined to do what it takes to move in the right direction. There are so many people who don't even attempt to grapple for answers. You should be commended, hell, I will commend you. You are commended! I feel like the pope, what is the process for commended. It seems sort of silly to say "you should be commended", does it mean you are waiting for someone else to do it?

[hrand00 in reply to EastbayTom]

Thanks. That made me smile. I don’t feel like a fighter. I hear stories of men and women who fight for their very lives, and I think, “I would have rolled over and died.”

[EastbayTom in reply to hrand00]

you haven't, you get knocked down and keep getting. Sounds like persistence to me.

[live2fightanotherday in reply to hrand00]

this made me laugh, because I constantly feel the same way

[Hidden]

Hello!

I think the support here is fabulous! Joining this forum is a good and positive step, I think. Welcome!! I feel like addressing your anger would be a smart move. Personally, I cannot afford to be angry, it robs me of the peace I need to succeed on this journey! Letting go is crucial...I try to see the positive in situations. I’m so glad you’re here! Wishing you peace of mind...

[live2fightanotherday]

Sometimes when SSRIs don't work so psychiatrists will try medications like Wellbutrin or supplementing an SSRI with a medication for bipolar disorder or anti seizure drug like lithium or Lamictal. These mood stabilizers sometimes can make a huge difference in allowing SSRIs to do their job. I am not a doctor, but it's something my psychiatrist is starting to try for my severe major depression that is quite debilitating. It's always worth asking about. Sending good vibes your way! I struggle with motivation too, because of my severe depression. It sucks. You sound like a fighter though.

[debbiegk]

Hello. I just joined as well. I was hoping to find encouragement while offering it as well. Please know that you are not alone. While adjusting to the medicines, it does affect your mood. With the right doctor monitoring you closely and the support and encouragement of others you can enjoy your life and become more healthy.

[debbiegk]

I would love to share some resources that have helped me.