Hello, I'm new here and I realized that I wanted to help others like me. I hope that my story can help others that may be going through the same thing I did.
About two weeks ago or so, I considered ending my life and attempted a plan. I was home alone that night for several hours and I didn't think that I would act on anything. What broke me down finally was when I reached out to the person that I cared the most about being suicidal and he didn't try to address it with me. That was when I realized that no one cared about me nor would ever see my pain. Looking back on it, I was wrong about that. Depression made me think that no one loved me nor cared. I sat on the top of my stairs and debated jumping off. I was in such a terrible state of mind that I went through a mental breakdown for 2-3 hours and just laid on the floor curled up. That night was also the first time I attempted self harm for the first time in 7 months. After hours of losing it and suffering in silence, my mind finally cleared up and I was stable enough to realize that I needed help immediately because I knew that I would hurt myself if I continue doing nothing about it. In less than a week after, I flew to Europe and is staying in a country for two months to recover.
Recovering from a suicide attempt is never easy. It was my third suicide attempt. I'm not proud of it but I was mentally ill. I still am today. But I am improving and taking it a day at a time. I am smiling and laughing more. Today, I feel healthy emotionally and I am in charge. If you're suffering from suicidal thoughts, please reach out. Do something. Take control of your demons and kick them out of your mind. You have to have faith in yourself that you CAN get better. Depression may not be curable right away and probably will be lingering behind us for decades but we can choose to either accept it and learn how to control it or to ignore it and do nothing about it. You are not alone in this.
I’m new to this site as well, & it’s definitely helped me realize that I’m not alone in my thoughts.
I’ve attempted suicide only once, but I was immediately put into a trauma center after I was found unconscious & unresponsive.
Since being out for a month now, I’ve thought about taking my life a couple more times, but I realize that I DO want to live. I want to beat this thing & overcome my demons.
I hope you’re doing better now!
I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts! <3
in reply to
Thank you for your reply! Your comment made my day and I am forever grateful for your kindness. I am glad that you are still alive after overcoming your suicide attempt, it's never easy but you got this! You deserve to live and you WILL overcome your demons. Sending much love and hugs to you, I hope that things will improve for you. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts as well!! (: <3
ive attempted 4 or 5 times and the last time which was a couple weeks ago almost killed me im trying to get help thats why im willing to open up i just cant seem to make myself stop wanting to die
in reply to
Hi,
I am terribly sorry for what you went through. It's a huge step in seeking help and I am very proud of you for wanting to get help. What kind of help are you seeking? You can open up here, there's no judgements here. What makes it difficult to get rid of the suicidal thoughts? If you'd like, you can message me if you need to talk to someone. I'm here for you & sending hugs and love to you. <3
I can relate so much to your post. Last week the depression got to the point of unbearable and I felt suicide was not only the only way out but I welcomed death. I'm just so tired of hurting, being sad, feeling weighted down, depression is so evil! The only thing that stopped me from committing suicide is that I didn't want my loved ones to have to come in and find me that way, I just couldn't do that to them. I'm still very depressed, I can't seem to come out of it. I don't feel suicidal at the moment but if God chooses to take me, i'm very ready to go.
Things got a lot better for a while but in recent months the depression and loneliness has started to overtake me again. Im trying hard to fight but its not working. I want to encourage you to not give up, keep fighting, seek help! Reach out, we can encourage each other. Its so hard but please dont give up
I don’t want to give up because I love my family but I hurt a family member last year...not physically but emotionally..and I can’t forgive myself. I don’t want to die but hate ‘living’ like this.😢
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Disconnected and again dismissed by the national suicide/crisis hotline. 
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