Not sure how to feel

[dee_bells]

My friend just texted me as she has been pursuing a psychology degree. She is currently a registered nurse.

Her text says that she is using me as her class project but she’s not using my real name.

I responded by asking her what is my diagnosis?

😮😮😮😮😮😮

[gerg]

I would find a positive view of the situation and stick with it. Perception becomes reality, and I think that your friend has your best interests at heart. I would offer assistance with the project and see where it goes.

Having a friend that understands my issues has been a very good thing for me.

[Lindabellle in reply to gerg]

Wow... I love that you are able to find the positive side of things. I wouldn't have viewed things in the same light. Wish I had that trait!

[dee_bells in reply to Lindabellle]

Same. I wish I could see the positive side. I’m so private. I feel like a bug under a microscope and then I thought am I really that bad? Guess I am. She mentioned shock treatments or lithium. Maybe they could provide a solution. 😬

[gerg in reply to Lindabellle]

It is more a skill than a trait. My anxiety disorder took my self esteem to the bottom, and my life along with it. One of my most important efforts is finding a perspective that serves me. I saw everything through a fog of fear for too long. I get to choose how I see things, so why not see them in a positive light.

[Lindabellle in reply to gerg]

Thank you for sharing that. My counselor has been trying to help me to understand this for a long time. Can't say as I ever really understood what she meant despite many explanations. Your response makes sense to me! One more thing to be thankful for today!

[gerg]

The concept here is “things are not good or bad, it is the view that I wish to take of them that makes them so”.

Your friend doing something is a great example.

[dee_bells in reply to gerg]

Gerg, she just told me that they were studying my Facebook page. I don’t mind sharing my business anonymously but skimming my FB and studying it is offensive. What is positive about that? I post happy things, happy places and funny stuff. Ugh

[gerg in reply to dee_bells]

You got to make this post and receive support from the people here, positive enough?

You may have learned something about your friend, or a lesson for the future that may prevent a higher degree of anguish.

I know that I got something from this experience, I value our interaction as a positive thing in my day.

I still don’t know that what your friend is doing is a negative thing. The outcome is still unknown and prejudgement is a risky move. I would separate the emotion from the situation and judge the actions with known facts.

There would be nothing wrong with letting your friend know that you are concerned.

[dee_bells in reply to gerg]

Thanks I appreciate that! With my BPD I wanted to jump on her but I slowed down and I’m thinking on it. Good advice!! Thx 😁😁

[gerg in reply to dee_bells]

I worked hard to learn to respond rather than react. Slowing down is the key. Instead of reacting my thought is “I don’t care, but it is under consideration”, then I decide if it is a battle that I want to pick. In so many cases I find that reaction of any kind is not the best method.

[alanstrange]

The first thing to straighten out is that what your friend does is a rude violation of privacy. In a non-defensive and assertive way, communicate to her that before even considering to use you as her project focus, let alone subjecting your social network profile to scrutinizing, she should have asked for your permission. The good thing is in your power to set clear boundaries of what your friend can and cannot do. Tell her that it is not okay to use your data without your consent, ask her non-aggressively to make amendments as you see fit (confirm with you that it is okay to take you on as a subject of her study in the first place, check in with you before subjecting every single piece of your personal information to exposure or analyzing, etc.). Set your terms, you can and must do it! You will feel empowered whatever the outcome is. You can protect your privacy in a meaningful way.

Now, as for how bad your condition might be for it to be taken on as a subject – every individual out there presents a certain degree of academic interest to psychological study, so chillax about this part. If you need more personalized advice, psychological help and support, or any other kind of drug than the proverbial chill pill, try apexhealthcentre.com for free professional help.