Will I always be like this ?

[Scorpy1888]

So I I’ve been feeling depressed and anxious on and off throughout my life . I’m almost 30 now . I feel like I lack something because of the way I interact with poeple . I usually eathier talk about a movie or maybe I will attempt to make a little bit of small talk . I feel like I caint make a really connection with anyone . could I be autistic? I don’t have any sensory issues . Sometimes this doesn’t bother me but then I get really depressed and anxious. I guess I hate myself . I’ve had boyfriends but they were emotionally abusive and broke up with me . After a while I will feel bored in the relationship . I feel like I don’t have an identity . I see others talk a lot but I usually just sit there and caint relate to the conversation. Ive tried going on dates but I would never get a second date probably because there was no real connection . Im extremely worried that I will end up . being alone . I went to my first meet

Up it was improv comedy .I attempted to make conversation but it was very little and just the basics . Poeple will tell me I’m shy , which yes I do feel that way but also I don’t have much to talk about . I don’t know how to talk about myself . I think I’m just a boring person. I know poeple go thru worse things But I’m scared I will never overcome this . I’m also really quiet around my family . I just don’t feel like I have much to say . If anyone could help I would greatly appreciate it .

[Punk1977]

Hey,I know how you feel,I never have been "social"either.But,ya no I believe God puts people in our path when the time is right and for a reason,some good,others as a learning experience. After reading your post,one thing stuck out to me,that was that you don't seem to like yourself much.You aren't giving yourself any credit for the person that u are.I have learned through my own fight with depression, that first and foremost, you gotta like yourself!How can you make anybody else happy,if you don't like yourself?I am here to tell ya,you gotta get right with yourself first before God will bless you with a new chapter in life!

[Scorpy1888 in reply to Punk1977]

Thank you for the response