How long can this ride last

[mdowning81]

This up and down rollercoaster ride is driving me nuts. I had a pretty decent day yesterday, I made it to work and was able to actually enjoy most of the day, which I am incredibly grateful for. Then in the middle of the night I woke up and the anxiety was firing on all cylinders and just kept going until this morning. I was up pacing the house, tried deep breathing and some relaxation response techniques but could not calm down. Finally around 7 this morning I was able to crash on the couch for a few hours. Needless to say I didn't make it to work and the depression is setting in. I feel so much guilt about continuing to miss work but cant figure out how to get myself there when the anxiety and depression hit hard. I have gone for a walk today and am trying to make the best of things today but it seems like every time I have a success a failure is right around the corner.

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

Sorry to hear about the tough time you are having. Had a quick squizz at your other posts to get an idea about your condition.

Firstly, if the meds is not working for you then you need to another and maybe another GP and counsellor. A different approach to your condition might be what you need.

It does not appear that your Depression and Anxiety is stemming from your relationships with your wife and kids? Is there someone else in your life that causes you stress?

In one of your posts, you ask if anyone has beaten Depression and I believe that I manage mine pretty well. I do this by:

- eating well

- little alcohol and no drugs

- exercise

- charity gives me a great sense of self worth

- meds

Sorry to ask this but do you feel guilty about anything? Guilt and regret can become a major source of Depression.

Hope this helps?

[mdowning81 in reply to Rick1on1]

I'm full of tons of guilt. I feel guilty that I keep missing work, and that I cant push through this for my family. I know that I shouldn't

[Rick1on1 in reply to mdowning81]

I hear you - I was very hard on myself when I let my marriage fall apart and my ex moved out with our 2 year old son. This was 6 years ago. It took about 2 years to get to a manageable state.

So, you need to give yourself a break and realize that there are no quick fixes.

As you cant seem to identify the source of your Depression and the hopeless feeling, try using a journal to document your bouts of Depression and Anxiety and pretty soon you should be seeing a trend. This is an important step if you are going to get through this.

How are you doing with diet, exercise? Are you still taking meds?

If you cant sleep, have you tried brazepam? I use it to sleep like a baby but it's mostly anti-anxiety medication.