It’s a bad night

[megc7]

I cannot get my feelings under control. I have too much on my plate and don’t have the time or ability to fix anything - or fix things immediately to make me feel better. I have a mental breakdown each day and at least one time in the month I have a huge breakdown where I just cry and cannot get my shit together. I’m stuck between wanting instant relief but feeling too sad and unmotivated to take the steps towards making things better. I feel so tired from trying to make change and I’m running low, I don’t know how to keep putting in effort when I’m miserable and drained to the core. Just need to vent, I know I just have to keep trying and yeah yeah ....

[AZ1970]

I can relate. Sometimes I feel like I am in a deep pit. I know I need to get out but it’s so deep that I don’t even know where to begin. Then I beat myself up for being there. Reaching out is a good step. Are you on medication? If so, do they need to be adjusted? That is what I needed to get out of feeling that way.

[megc7 in reply to AZ1970]

Headed to the doc tomorrow to talk about it, I am holding out hope that something like that will help me. Because as of right now I really don’t have the power within myself to get better

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to megc7]

The biggest help during any illness is wise doctor and the patient that is able to give him as many clues. Talk to your doctor openly and please don’t hide anything. I was too ashamed many times and still am to tell the truths about what’s happening day to day, I was only giving the general context more like Wikipedia would do. I would say I can’t sleep all night but I wouldn’t add that I cry and that I’m hurt so badly by other people that I can’t cope with it. I would say that I hardly never eat and that I push myself but never said that I’m literally unable to prepare any meal, even if that would be a simple sandwich. Now I regret very much as I think that when doctors know it all they can adjust right treatment. None of the pills were good to me and I tried so many different ones but I think it is my fault as I should be more honest with the doctors. And also more straightforward. If they would know what is the meaning of: I’m going through hard time, they would probably put me on completely different kind of meds.

Anyhow, from my history, it’s the group of people that helped me the most. Those were other woman from psychiatric hospital. They

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Orangeblossom85]

They were very open and could talk days and nights about their lives and traumas. Most of them needed to be just heard out. I didn’t take the courage to share my story. But supporting them and helping them feel strong, validating, caring about what they think and feel was a tremendous help for me. I left the hospital so much stronger and I did ok for few months. I was off all kinds of medication.

Now I should start again but since o couldn’t say much to my doctor, I hesitate that the med I was given will do anything to make me better.

So please: turn to your doctor and be very detailed and open about your feelings, thoughts, how your day looks like. Tell everything was bothers you, scare you, everything that you feel is not “normal”

Good luck!!!!

[megc7 in reply to Orangeblossom85]

That was a great insight, thanks for sharing! I downplay my feelings constantly and haven’t really told anyone everything before so I think this is a good time to start. I think I’m struggling with anxiety and depression and I try too hard to hide it and then convince myself my feelings aren’t so bad when it is bad, I will be open and honest for once!!!

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to megc7]

Don’t hide, they will later tell you that you are not credible and they will deny you help. Most of the doctors are just moving around the dsm book of symptoms. Give them your symptoms.

I wish you courage but also amazing professional that will be willing to hear you out and help you!

[francime]

Sometimes life is hard. Situations can be complex and out of our control. People are hard to deal with. It is easy to get overwhelmed. I try to just let it go, to find the calm in the storm. Not to make it go away, but to try to be calm, even for a few minutes. Looking up at the sky and taking a deep breath helps me. I deal with it every day, and every day you don’t give up you are a hero and you get stronger.

[megc7 in reply to francime]

Thank you so much, everyday is a battle but each one we get through is a victory, I think we all really are heroes

[hypercat54 in reply to megc7]

Hi don't forget that there are times in life when it is all too much and all we can do is hunker down and hang on until things get better. I have always dealt with life by making sure I have some alone time to recharge my batteries. One thing which really helps me to this day is going to bed around 5 ish just for an hour. It's not really for sleep but this can be good too but mainly for peace and quiet. If I am going out I feel ready to face the world again. x

[SuZQ154]

I like what you said. "We are all heroes." We have to keep repeating that. We are not perfect but we are trying to take care of ourselves!

Taking care of ourselves looks different every day. Some days it is pushing ourselves to exercise and then other days it is a nap or going to bed early. I have been asking myself, "What do you need right now?" and NOT what I want. Then I just try to listen and act on it.

Hang in there, friend! There is hope!