First I want to thank everyone for the responses I’ve received lately. I try hard to respond back as honestly and completely as possible. Hence the long, sometimes rambling responses. Sorry 😐
I was wondering if anyone here is completely alone like me? I know it sounds like a weird question. But this is were I find myself. As the years went by Ive become more and more isolated. Some of my family and friends have passed away, others have moved on. But I keep thinking I’m the only one like this, completely alone. I often cry over the loved ones I’ve lost, and over the lost happiness I once had. And I keep blaming it on my depression and anxiety.
So that’s it. I’m trying hard to keep this short. Thanks Everyone.
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Just kidding😊 i think there are a lot of lonely people on this forum and in the world. A pastor told about how a survey had shown that we have less friends than we did (as a whole) since the last survey (around 2000). We went from like 3 to 2. That is despite social media.
You can still be around people and still feel lonely. It is just me and my 12 year old daughter. I have isolated myself but am trying to reconnect. I feel awkward so I'm reconnecting in small steps.
Haha maximum number of posts made me laugh .....I post quite a lot too at times ..Yes I totally get this Marshall, it’s not the amount of people we can name who are in our lives it’s a feeling...and our mental health can make us isolate..
It’s more about reconnecting in some way which can be difficult , and yes we need to do it but it is small steps
Best wishes x
One thing I do know is you can feel completely alone in a crowded room..
Sometimes with mental illness in my opinion it’s not the family and friends in your life it’s how your mind makes you alone and isolated...
I don’t have many people in my life at all. And the ones that are, are only available the minimum of times...
I think we can push people away due to how we feel
I know I push people away, that’s how I gradually became so alone. I don’t want to live anymore Olivia. I’m so alone and all I want is someone to be with me.
My mind just won’t stop worrying. I want to go back to a different time, when I was younger, when I had family and friends around. I was happy and secure. But those days are gone forever.
Thank you Olivia. Yesterday I visited my Aunt, she’s living in a boarding house after going to a detox clinic for opioid addiction (Percocet). She got them from a neighbor who she thought was her friend. This "friend” took everything from her. And my aunt who is 78 years old was left with nothing and was facing eviction. Opioid addition is a very big problem here, even among the elderly.
This is the very short version. I’m the only one in the family who visits. I guess I just feel bad, and along with my Grandmother helped raise me. She has a lot of inner strength though. This place is awful but she adjusted somehow.
I think also seeing and watching a family member in such a terrible situation can trigger us too....I’m sorry for that for both you and her.
It’s amazing what we can adjust to , we would never believe it to be honest...bless her.
The amount of things that can trigger me these days is quite a few...
It’s so difficult. Especially seeing a family member struglle in such a way. It’s no winder you feel awful right now. On top of feeling awful anyway ....
I Didn’t mean to go on about my Aunts problems. But it bothers me so much that not even her own son will visit. That’s a very long story to, lots of water under that bridge. My cousin and I are close so I really don’t want to say anything.
I am basically alone Shutterbug65. I am 59 and unmarried with no children. I do have friends who I do stuff with ( and my life has been pretty complicated and have gone through "lesbian" phase but now wondering if I truly am or if it was connected with my narcissistic mother ;long story). I am pretty much at my lowest ever at the moment.
Someone else said that it's about how you feel inside. I do have a father and a sister but I don't feel connected to them. I have a friend who is suffering very badly with her mental health and though I feel "connected" with her it doesn't bring me any joy because she is in a desperate state and so am I; so that "connection" doesn't feel good. It's all extremely negative at the moment. Me too on meds but not really working.
You say you had a loving partner for some time. That is amazing and wonderful that you had that. Hard to get on with life now though i am sure. I don't really know what to say as i'm not in best of positions myself but I guess i would say it's about how we perceive ourselves and how we feel and maybe ask yourself is it time to invite someone else into your life?
I had a little spell on a "disability dating site". I can't say it went well for me. I messaged someone for a while ( couple of weeks) and then we started phoning. On the phone he kept saying he was there for me i had made a friend etc. Even when we met he said the same things that we were both in a bad position and we could just support each other, but very shortly after that there was no contact at all from him. I think it's extremely hard to try and date when you are in a very low place so I would say to go there only with extreme caution and depending on how vulnerable you are. I was hoping I could fix my problems by doing this but i've found out there's definately no fix like that for me.
I'm working on just trying not to panic that i'm on my own at home and that I do know people, just not really close people or that "comfort factor" I think many of us need. Gemma x
Thank you Gemma. I’m at a very low point in my life. I have absolutely no one to turn to where I live, no family or friends. If something was to happen to me I have no one to turn to.
Every morning I lay in bed and every problem I have, and they are significant, occupies my every thought. My fear is that I’m going to become homeless. All it takes is one thing to go wrong, that’s how precarious my life is right now. No safety net.
I’m so afraid, I wish I could go back in time and find that happiness I once had and hold on to it.
This is how I feel now. As the day goes on I’ll start to feel better, but this is how I feel every morning.
I just wanted to ad that I’m sorry that you had a bad experience dating. I haven’t been on a date since Kathy, my girlfriend passed away and that was in 2010! I miss her so much and I was so lucky to have her. I think of her everyday, and all the wonderful things we did together.
So try and stay strong. I know how unbelievably horrible loneliness can be. I know I’m living it everyday.
I know how you feel. I am divorced, could have kids and stay in my own. I went from being surround by people who wanted to talk to me to hiding in my house afraid to go out.
I now thankfully have made new friends.
I find social media to cause more harm than good for me so I don't connect to it regularly. I only look at Facebook to check on how my sister and her kids are doing as they are really busy. My other sister doesn't even use Facebook so it is generally my mum that keeps me updated as she is also busy and I don't like to phone in case she is working late.
After my breakdown I found out who was truly my friends and that was basically 6 people (other than my family) and most of them stay hundreds of miles away, but they are the ones that could see I was still me even although I was ill. They had the patience to realise that sometimes it was not me but the voices in my head leading my thoughts and actions.
I speak to lots of people and get out most weeks Now, but the people I speak to I class as acquaintances and it takes a lot of trust and time for me to class someone as a friend. I now have another 2 new friends even although t I go out with and speak to about 20 people on occasions.
People thought I was strange and told me it was my fault I was alone when at parties, usually sitting in the corner or listening to someone else's issues.
If you are having trouble going out, see if someone you know will go with you for the first couple of classes/ meetings.
Even think about starting an evening class or hobby where you can take time to yourself if you feel overwhelmed when you are there. Something like Art classes, and that doesn't have to be drawing. I hear cries of "I can't draw" my reply is my mantra "don't be so hard on yourself. I watch a kid last weekend draw a picture of a girl. For the head she virtually just drew a box and upside down triangle, erased the lines she didn't want. Squiggly lines For the hair and circles for the eyes. She drew the body the same way. Later on she came back and sat with a ruler and just drew lines, turning the paper and connecting the lines on all sorts of angles and lengths of lines. Then she just started colouring in the shapes. So we can all draw. Take a look at the prictures by famous artists past and present a d I am sure you will find something that you will think "I could do that." There is also volunteering and sports you can do to.
Also one thing that stops us is that we think we have nothing to give, but that is wrong. We all.ha e something to offer and yes there are people out there that will enjoy spending time with you.
I also know that because I have no kids that I will need up at home alone when I get really old or shipped into a care home. I am not going to worry about that now because at the moment I am working on enjoying life again.
One thing I found that helped me was getting out each day for a walk or go to the local shop. Who knows who you will start speaking to and who found eventually end up being your friend.
You have people you can connect with. I truly have nobody. Yes I have acquaintances from work, but that’s all. For awhile I was going to instameets, people I met on Instagram. Because we shared a common interest in photography. But that kind of fell apart, everyone just went there separate ways.
I wrote a response to Gemma earlier. It basically reads how alone I really am. My fear of becoming homeless etc. I get overwhelmed easily by problems. I always been a worry wort. When my girlfriend passed in 2010 I was still close to her family for awhile. And then my Dad moved down here (south Jersey) and got his own apartment just to be close to me. He eventually moved in with me so I was never really alone. And we did things together that we never had a chance to do before. He passed in 2014 and now I find myself completely alone and afraid. It’s like my father knew I needed him after my girlfriend passed and he knew I would have a difficult time being alone. He was right. I think back to my childhood a lot, when I had no worries and had my family around. I can’t take it being alone anymore.
Keep enjoying life 20voices. You seem to have a great attitude.
I know how hard it is. I am truly struggling myself and haven't even had those intervals of feeling ok ever. So I understand how hard it is. I won't write more as I am in a worse place than you I am pretty sure of that and don't want to depress you further.
I’m not doing well at all. And please you can tell me. I know how it feels believe me. Right now I’m having very bad anxiety and I have no one to talk to.
I have spent years pushing people away when I did not even realize I was doing it. I would cause problems just to have that excuse to push them away. I have major trust issues from child hood and I feel like the minute I start feeling comfortable enough to show people anything about who I truly am It’s time to cut them out. I don’t want to be real with anyone because that just causes me to be vulnerable. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to my ex husband and I ended up loosing myself completely. I then met this awesome man that I actually fell hard for and loved. Soon after we decided to be serious he suffered a major stroke and is handicapped on his left side. The stroke put him in rehab for months and I stayed by his side, we moved in together, I was his caretaker, and girlfriend. Sometime after we got pregnant. This is where the big problems began. Because of the stroke he, as expected, lost his identity and manhood, so I was everything to him. He depended on me 100%. Now I’m pregnant with 3 other kids, a job, and a man that has stopped trying to improve his overall quality of life because he has gotten used to me being the back bone. Shortly after the baby was born I started getting completely burned out, resentful and angry. Then I started losing myself once again. I recognized it though and I knew I had to do something to stop the ball from rolling any farther. I realized that I needed to push him to find his self after the stroke and stand on his own 2 feet. This resulted in our split. So at 39 years old I said enough is enough I am done feeling, I am not letting anyone in and I am not showing a bit of my true self to anyone. I guess what I am getting at is that there are people around me all the time yet I feel completely alone. I have one person that is close but even they will not get all of me because I know what hurt will come.
Sorry for the babble here just had to think some stuff out.
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I’ve been doing so well until now
I have just been discharged from the hospital
Lots of posts on here about loneliness and being single I just want to say..
I'm new here (and have a lot of questions!)
