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Anxiety and Depression Support
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Does anyone here feel very alone?

I ask this because everyday I wake with bad anxiety. I usually never get enough sleep. I live alone, I have no close friends to talk to. My family have moved on with their lives, or have passed away. I have a half sister but she’s 16 years younger than me, and we weren’t raised together so we were never all that close. She lives in another state and grew up with her mother and sisters.

I’m just so alone and afraid. Afraid of what will become of me. I’m also 53 never been married and have no children. The two biggest regrets in my life. I go to work not because I enjoy it but just to be around people and have others to talk to. My life is empty and sad. I do think of suicide every now and then, but I never attempted it or made any kind of plans. It’s just always there, like an option. Anthony Bourdain did it and he had everything, I have nothing

I’m sorry that I’m always a downer, but this is how I feel every morning. Does anyone else live a similar life or feel this way? Thanks for all your heartfelt comments and advice. I read them all and I try to respond.

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I am 61 and I wake up with anxiety and this terrible feeling of dread. I ask myself daily what's going to happen to me. My fear is being alone and no one to take care of me. It's an awful feeling. So I understand. It's good your working to be around people. Maybe you could try other places to be around different people. Go to church maybe, or get a pet if u don't have one. But don't give up. You're still young. Plenty of time to meet someone. Think positive! Never give up! If you fell sad or lonely, text me or one of the other wonderful people on here. I'm here for you anytime🤗🤗

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Thank you. I’ll write back later. I’m at work now.

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The way you describe your morning anxiety sounds exactly like me. I to get an overwhelming feeling of dread and fear. Now I feel fine, I always do in the evening. But I know tomorrow morning even though I don’t have work I’ll wake a 5:00 or so and within minutes the negative thoughts, the problems both real and imagined will occupy my thoughts. It’s impossible to get anymore good sleep, maybe I’ll dose for 10 or 15 minutes but I’m mostly just tossing and turning once my anxiety kicks in. It makes for an awful beginning of the day. I’m on meds Xanax XR and another one for depression. But man I’m so tired of this cycle I’m in. I don’t want to rely on meds the rest of my life. I’m tired of it all, the Anxiety is just so intense and unrelenting.

Yes I do have a pet, a cat and it helps having her around but she’s getting older and has kidney failure. She’s on a special diet and she’s hanging in there. It will be awful when that time comes.

Thank you for your positive response. It’s just the loneliness and the feeling that it’s not going to get better.

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I don’t think it’s a medication issue, it’s needing relationships. Use this forum to start relationships and work to form relationships in your life as 01harley said, also he said he would text you which maybe a good way to have a personal connection with someone!

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I know I do need relationships. I’m so lonely and afraid. I lost my girlfriend 8 years ago and I haven’t been able to form another relationship since. I miss her so much. It’s unbelievable how happy I was back then. She was everything to me. I’m tired of going on, I can’t deal with things anymore. I won’t get into all the problems I have. Please if you can give some advice I’m listening.

Thank you for your response.

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It sounds like some grief counseling will help you and then you can heal and be able to seek another relationship. Please get into grief counseling, there is a group called GriefShare that might meet in your area or find a private grief counselor or support group. This is a vital first step!

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Thank you. I’ve been told about attending grief counseling by my phychiatrist. The problem with me is that I get told to do this or that but I don’t do it. Unless someone literally takes me by the hand and guides me.

I can’t take this life to much longer. I hate myself and what I’ve become. I have so many problems and I just can’t deal with them.

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It sounds like grief counseling is being recommended by multiple people... take the first step in searching for a grief counseling group in your area

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Hi!

I usually wake up around 4:00am and I’ve noticed that I feel lonely and sad/tearful until the sun comes up and then I feel better. My husband works long hours so he’s gone from 4:00am until 9:00pm. In those early morning hours I find myself sitting in the garage drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and ruminating. Bad combination! My spiritual life gives me strength when I ask for it to help me help myself. I try to think positively and express gratitude all day long. Music helps me lift my spirits and get some housework done. I’ve also been reaching out to family and a few friends for social interaction. I’m the lone survivor in my birth family, so it’s harder to reach out. It’s a daily struggle and I totally understand what you’re going through...you’re not alone! Sometimes we just have to step out of our comfort zone and take chances. I have to literally make myself participate in social gatherings and usually am glad I did once I get there. Hang in there and keep pushing forward with the next right thing! Sorry no paragraphs! Sending you hugs!!

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Thank you so much for your reply. I just don’t know where to turn. I don’t how to make that first step or Im afraid to. And I can’t help but feel alone even though you say I’m not alone. You have some good ways to cope. You reach out to family and friends for some social interaction, and you mentioned your spiritual which gives you strength. Your seem to be doing very well, I have none of that. The problems I have I created, by avoiding social interaction with family and friends. And through the years they moved on. Many have passed away. My girlfriend of 9 years passed in 2010 and with it much of my life. My Dad passed in 2014 and I’ve become more and more isolated.

I’ve tried therapy but the expense of going every week or ten days was to much. She did however tried to encourage me to go to gatherings offered through meetup.com. I didn’t go. I’m so worried that people will view me negatively. I’m extremely self conscious with the way I look. I have a lot of problems, and I just can’t deal with things anymore.

I do see a phychiatrist every two months for my med management, but that’s it. I’m afraid one day I will take my life.

I’m so lonely. Thanks again

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I wouldn’t say that I’m doing very well! I have been hospitalized twice this year with depression and suicidal ideation. I just got out of the hospital on 5/30 after staying 10 days. Luckily, I’m no longer suicidal and I do feel better. I’ve been dealing with these issues for 27 years, so I have a little practice!

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I would like to respond but I’m at work now. I’ll write to you later.

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Sure...

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First I’m very sorry I assumed you were doing well and to hear you were hospitalized. What lead up to you being hospitalized? Since you said you are better and no longer suicidal, what did they do for you? I ask this because I think I may be hospitalized someday if I don’t improve. I know this is a last resort as it must have been for you. But on my worst days anxiety and depression often bring thoughts of suicide. I’m so alone and I’m finding it harder to cope and daily life is getting so difficult for me. But at the same time I have a cat and if I go away I have no one to look after her. I really don’t have a single friend or family member near me.

I don’t know what to do.

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I’m so sorry you feel alone. I feel the same when depressed even though I have a husband and 3 grown children. I believe the death of my only sibling/sister last December has a lot to do with it. We were close and when the chips are down, I miss her so. I could tell her anything. I began isolating...nothing good ever comes out of that for me! I indulged in many pity parties and ended up feeling suicidal. 1 big trigger for me was that I stopped my daily spiritual routine and blocked myself off from the sunlight of the spirit. Big mistake! Maintaining my spiritual life takes action and practice.

While hospitalized, they tweaked my meds, started me on insulin for my diabetes (which was a big help), and I participated in group therapy along with classes. I found support by talking to my fellow patients also. I’m now doing the footwork and trying to do what I need to do for the delicate balance.

I too had suicidal thoughts with a plan that I would have carried out except I had the wrong sized bullets! Thank God it diffused the situation. Be kind to yourself...you’re not alone! Our journeys are still unfolding! Have a great day!!

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Is there any chance you can take yourself to a happy time in your life? I try to dwell on the positive things, even if they are little, like the sunrise, so beautiful! I'm here for you wishing you all the best! Good luck to you! Hang in there & be strong, sometimes we are stronger than we think we are! XXX

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Hi Shutterbug,

Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. I do have kids, they don’t call that often and they all live less than 30 miles away.

As we get older I think most us are worried what will become of us. This is a good place to be and people are willing to help you if they can. I have been doing some similar things of going out to be around people but I’m not really that comfortable . I take a meditation class and it is mostly helpful. Are you on medication? Do you have a doctor? If you would like a friend or someone to talk to, I am a good listener. I won’t give you my opinion or advice unless you ask. I don’t judge anyone because I have no right to judge

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Yes I do have a phychiatrist. And I’m on medication. Xanax XR for my anxiety and Doxepin to help me sleep. She just prescribed Gabapentin for my depression but I looked it up and it’s a drug for seizures and says nothing about treating depression.

Another weekend is over and I was alone as usual. I think if I wasn’t so lonely I would feel better. I’m so tired of waking up with anxiety and depression, I never sleep that well anymore.

So yes I would like a friend. Someone who understands how it’s like to go through life being depressed, anxious and alone.

Thank you for your reply. And I hope your day goes well.

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Hi shutterbug.

I wake most morning with anxiety and dread too. It’s awful. I tend to push people away as I isolate a lot, I’ve lost friends and don’t have much family, they tend to get on with their lives in any case.

Some days I force myself out to a coffee shop or to meet someone if poss...it does help and I do feel better when I do something..

Someone suggested going to a church , I used to go to church coffee mornings you don’t have to be religious to go ...

Someone once said to me, new friends or acquaintances will not appear at your door,you have to go somewhere to meet people...it’s so difficult though on bad days I know..also a visit to a library or an art gallery can add something to a lonely day...

Don’t feel bad about writing how you feel here, it helps, and when you are ready you will do something about how you feel...

Agree with the comment about going to see a counsellor it can be very difficult to come to terms with the loss of a loved one...

I hope you find the strength to allay some of those fears and have a life more like you would wish

🌺🌼🌺🌼💕

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Thank you Olivia. I’ll write back as soon as I can. I’m off to work now. 🌹

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No problem, hope your day is peaceful x

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Hi Olivia. I could have wrote that entire first paragraph. I’ve isolated myself to the point that friends and family don’t bother with me anymore. You know every morning I try to talk to god. Mostly that he grants me just a little bit of courage. And I thank him for all the wonderful people I had in my life and are no longer here. I’m not even sure if there is a god. I’m not religious or go to church. But I wish I could talk to my loved ones again. I need help, I so desperately need someone in my life.

Your right when you wrote that “new friends or acquaintances will not appear at my door”. My phychiatrist told me something similar. She’s also pushing me to join a group, maybe through a church. Or do volunteer work. Anything that will get me to meet other people.

I can’t take this isolation anymore. I’m alwsys thinking of the past and how happy I was especially when my girlfriend was alive, I can’t believe that was me.

I want it to end.

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I really get what you are saying. I feel so awful today..so lonely but no energy to do anything about it.

But I know as soon as I get a bit of energy I will do something about t, it’s not easy but I will take a train to another village and have a walk and lunch. It’s small steps and it takes time...I’m so sorry for how you feel, truly you are not alone , and truly we can change things over time...

Keeping hope is key, and some days that’s not easy either...but we can change things..small steps lead to big changes...I could have written what you did, it same for me...

Gentle hugs to you, don’t give up, even if initially it’s just thinking about what you might do..unfortunately , only we can change things and anything good in life , I always think is hard work to get there

X

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I’m 22 but I feel very similar to this. I don’t have regrets that I didn’t start a family (since I’m not old enough for that yet) but I do scare myself daily that I won’t find anyone to settle down with and I won’t be satisfied in any career I choose.

I started doing yoga the past few weeks and that has helped so much. I go early in the mornings since that’s when my depression is at its worst. Try looking up classes in your area. You might even be able to find some friends in the classes too :)

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💕 never been to yoga but hear it’s good,

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The first few times are a little rough. I got discouraged bc of how inflexible I was. But luckily the teachers are used to newbies.

It’s worth a try though :)

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Sounds fab. I would maybe need to do it at home or in a one to 8ne basis unfortunately , my social anxiety means I’m not good in groups 😩 but it sounds fab and I love to hear of successful things it gives me hope and motivation 😊🌺🌼🌺🌼

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Hi, Shutterbug65. I feel a little less alone after reading your post. I'm 59, never married, no kids. I can't say I regret either one of those, but I do feel very alone. I have siblings but don't feel very close to them--I feel angry, resentful, and hurt about my family relationships. Have not had a 'real' friend in a long time, for different reasons, and I sometimes think this is just how modern life is, then other times I think there's something wrong with me that I don't have friends. I go to work 'cause I need money, but I get very little from work, and that's one of my big stressors. My so-called career is just falling apart, and I'm very disappointed and discouraged about that. I feel like after working in the same field for so long, and at age 59, what job could I get now?

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Thanks. Do you have a lot of resentments? I mean do you feel that so many years have slipped by , years when you could have changed the course of your life but didn’t? I do, I’ve let anxiety and depression ruin my chances to make a better life for myself. I could have taken the good advice I’ve gotten from my grandparents (they raised me) and done something better with my life. If I just listened. Through the years I just pushed people away. I’m 53 and feel the same way you do. I to go to work because I need the money, I have to support myself. And like you, I don’t like my job, but atleast I get to be around people. But I’m afraid to change.

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