Depressed and extremely restless need help

[sckid]

Hi everyone im new here and looking for help. Ive suffered from severe depression for 3 years now. Around a year ago i caught my wife cheating and had a mental breakdown. I had been under a ton of stress working lots of hours and suspected she was cheating and when i caught her i finally lost it and actually went into a pyschosis for 2 weeks for the first time in my life. I was 36 at the time. Anyway the main problem im having now is this feeling of extreme restlessness and inner tension. It gets so bad that my body trembles. Especially if i think about anything that stresses me out. Ive gone from smoking 10 cigarettes a day to 2 packs. Im always on edge. I feel completely miserable and only get through the day by distracting myself surfing the internet. Ive tried to go back to my job 3 times this year but any kind of stress amplifies this feeling and makes it unbearable. Ive tried explaining it to my pdoc and he says its called pyschomotor agitation and prescribed me seroquel and ativan. The only thing that helps is a high dose of ativan but it makes me to dumb and lazy to to do my job. My question is does anyone have any experience with this or know of anything that helps. Living like this is torture and im desperately looking for answers. Thanks in advance!

[Sandia]

I don’t have experience with psychomotor agitation, but I know what it feels like to not be able to quiet your Mind. I know how it feels to be restless and edgy, I’m sorry you have gone through this and I hope someone here can give you some advice to help. Welcome

[Lyn842]

I'm sorry you are going thru this. I have not gone thru what you have, at least not as bad. I do have anxiety bad enough that I get so anxious and fidgety that I feel I might explode or shatter. Have you tried counseling also? You could also file for a mental disability either temporary or permanent. If finances have become a prob from not working that may help. I wish I could help you more. Someone else may have some ideas. Hang in.

[Elisa_marie]

I felt that way several times in my life. It will pass. In my experience, benzodiazepines (Ativan or Xanax but not at same time) helped but I eventually needed an antidepressant as well temporarily. It will get better with time but it sucks so bad as you’re going through it. I also ended up in the hospital and that did help. If you can’t function at all, you may need to be evaluated at a hospital.

[sckid in reply to Elisa_marie]

Im glad to hear that yours passed. That gives me hope. My doctor actually just doubled my ativan to 2mg a day. He said the agitation is basically anxiety from repressed anger or some kind of other negative emotions. The ativan actually helps alot and relaxes me. Im just trying to find another solution because i dont wanna have to take benzos everyday because i know I'll eventually develop a tolerance and then they wont work.

[hypercat54]

HI I too get like that sometimes but not so extreme. I had to leave my last job through stress and I have never been the same since. I find that any type of stress now makes me restless, talkative, and emotionally overloaded. My doctor does't take it seriously and just says that everyone has to deal with stress. Well the thing is I can't at all now and it adversely affects my life quite a lot.

I am sorry I don't have any answers but if you do find any I would love to hear them. x

[sckid in reply to hypercat54]

Im sorry to hear that. I totally understand the disappointment that comes from not being able to even work your job. Ive noticed its hard for most people to empathize with you because they have absolutely no idea what kind of hell we live in with this stuff. I dont wish it on my worst enemy. It's even tougher as a man because we cant talk about it or show any sign of weakness. I guess all we can do is keep fighting until things hopefully get better one day. If i find an answer i will gladly share.

[Rpan]

I felt like this often and for extended periods of time. I was put on seraqual also. It worked for one month, I had to come off due to side effects. That extreme restlessness and inner tension is anxiety for me, what helped the most was loosing all the stimulants, caffeine,sugar,carbs... ( the cigarets-I don’t smoke) and add major cardio to an exercise routine. I had to utilize the energy, by breaking a sweat. It will take a lifestyle change, including therapy...I also to Ativan, it works but it losses it’s affect over long periods of time plus you can develop a dependency, so a major lifestyle change is what helped the most for me. Quit the cigarets,drop the sugar, no caffeine and break a major sweat.. do that for a couple of weeks and you will see a significant change