How do you expect me to heal

How can you trust someone after you've been sexually abused its impossible to be normal again! I am 24 years old and have not been in a relationship because I'm scared. I don't trust anyone I think the worst. I have dreams f getting married and startting my own family but I can't get over what happened to me. All the thought go through my head. Please don't try to lecture or counsel me that it's okay and that I need to heal. It's been 12 years i still remember everything that happened and it disgusts me and takes me in a dark hole i can't get out of.

[jayT67]

I know how you feel and I know how everyday is a struggle and if you need to talk about it I’m here for you

[Rpan]

I don’t think we ever get over such a terrible event. At some point we learn that these events don’t define us. This happens when we allow ourselves to have relationships. You will fulfill your dreams, no doubt after all it’s your dreams. Sure you think the worst, but you can build a different future. There are many good,trust worthy men out there. By doing the math you were very young, I’m sorry this happened, I wish you were protected. Understand that you will find someone that will cherish you and protect you.

[Hidden]

Don’t go by any one else’s schedule but your own when it comes to having a relationship and a family. My brother didn’t get married until he was in his late 30s. Is someone pressuring you to do these things?

[judibuch]

Being abused is awful!!! There is nothing more awful....especially if you were not protected! It can be worked out though even though now you feel and have felt that there is no way out of the hole. Have you tried talking to someone professionally--who is a specialist in trauma? and/or sexual abuse? It might help?! I am here to talk also, as I know what trauma is all about as I suffered it also.

[fauxartist in reply to judibuch]

glad your here judi....spot on advice...of course...

[Cara78]

Hiya, if it was me I'd try my best to remind myself that I had no power over the abuse and it was in no way anything I had done wrong. I'm the innocent party so why should I feel dirty or disgusting. I would remind myself of the good qualities I have and how strong I am to be here today. A true survivor. In the grand scheme of things abusers are in the minority do that tells me there are good people in the world. No one can ever get my soul, that's mine for keeps. Xxx

[fauxartist]

I was abused....and there are no easy answers or solutions....we are all different on how we process things.....I didn't get the right kind of help for a couple of decades....and because of it I suffered when I really should have gotten help....I just didn't know what to do....I didn't trust anyone....but I had to finally give in and talk to somebody. I got into therapy....it changed my life. I finally stopped the fears of intimacy, fears of being attacked again, fears of my own guilt and feeling worthless. All of it destroyed me for years....I couldn't take it any more. I had no life....I wanted one....it took hard work and those scars were very raw and painful....but I did it.... Do this for you.... try therapy. Sure some therapists are not going to fit for what you need, which is trust....but don't give up, keep trying....I'm glad your here sharing ...it all helps

[Imakook]

I'm so glad you found this forum, Cecy. We are here for you and each individual has their own special words & experiences. You will be respected, loved and truly listened to. We're on this journey together.

Big Hugs, Sweetie!

[Hidden]

Welcome to the forum, there are others here who share your experience and feelings. Thank you for sharing your story and being open. 💕