Hard to live

[Cat314]

I’m trying so hard but I wake up in tears in the mornings. I find it so hard to look at a day without depression. I’ve been on meds now for seven months and I’ve been seeing a therapist. But just can’t get up in the morning. I feel so guilty towards those around me. I should be better than this. Why can’t I feel “good” in the morning. I am drained. I am joyless. I am ashamed for being like this for months. Each morning my hope waves away. I cry and hide in my bed. For once if I could feel joy and not cry. For once if I could feel happy to be alive. Any encouragement you can share would be greatly appreciated as I feel done and spent. I am spent from all the tears.

[01harley]

I wake up sometimes and all I do is cry. Sometimes it makes me feel some better and other times no. Do u ever look out your door or window and something makes you smile, like kids playing or dogs playing? If something brings a smile it's a start. I feel guilty all the time because what is wrong with me is no one's fault. Just mine. And some people will say what's wrong with u you have a great life. I know that but that doesn't take the hurt and sadness away.That is why I like to talk to people that are going through the same thing as me. I know all of us would like to feel another way and want it so bad. I believe it will happen. Don't know when but I'm waiting.

[Cat314 in reply to 01harley]

Your words help me because I feel the same way. From the outlook, everything seems great but on the inside there is so much hurt and trauma. I wake up like you and cry. I try to smile at the goodness around me. I can’t always bear to cry. I do feel guilty. But like you, I am waiting for that better day. I hope for you it will come soon. You are very kind to answer me and be so honest about how you feel. I appreciate it. It does feel better to know that I am not alone. Thank you very much.

[01harley in reply to Cat314]

You are so welcome. It has helped me to be able to talk about it especially to people who understand. You are never alone, not here.

[Lookingtochange]

Just know you are not alone. I have been there. Just try to break what you want to do into million small steps like getting one step towards the patio and then next and next. Try to sit outside and hear birds chirping and try to smell the grass. I know its extremely hard for you right now but try one step at a time. We are here for you.

[01harley in reply to Lookingtochange]

That was some good advice. This site has lifted my spirits. Finally I'm not afraid to be myself.

[Lookingtochange in reply to 01harley]

We are all in this together!

[Cat314 in reply to Lookingtochange]

Thank you. I believe that.

[01harley in reply to Lookingtochange]

That is more comforting to know. It is like a life line to get through a hard time.

[Cat314 in reply to Lookingtochange]

This is good advice. It is real and helpful. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

[01harley]

Is anyone around I'm kinda having a bad spell.

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

I'm here right now... what's happening Harley?

[01harley in reply to Agora1]

Just starting to have on of those spells where I feel overwhelmed. I had been better today

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

You need to settle both your mind and body by doing some deep breathing..

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

I always prefer to go to YouTube and settle back and have someone else guide me through each step.

[01harley in reply to Agora1]

How do u do YouTube. Never done it.

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

It is my "go to" Type in YouTube and when you get to their official site, press enter

and I will get back to you as to what to type in..

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

I always listen to Audio Meditation/Deep Breathing videos Just music doesn't work for me as well. I want to be guided by a calming soothing voice. One of them is Quiet Mind Café, another is The Honest Guys, yet another is Jason Stephenson... There are so many but these come to mind right now.

Look for 1-3 minute medfitations or 5-10 min Anything longer when you are overwhelmed will be too hard for you to concentrate.

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

Feeling overwhelmed is all about what the mind is feeding into your brain right now. Got to quiet it down. Let me give you some names of speakers who are quite calming and effective

[01harley in reply to Agora1]

Ok I'll try to find them. Thanks for being so fast

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

Time is of the essence when we are overwhelmed

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

Type in Mindfullness a 3 minute Meditation by the Honest Guys willlhelp quiet your mind

[01harley in reply to Agora1]

I found them, there are so many. But I listened to the 3 minute one 3 times. It looks like a good place to log in.i never even knew any of these places. Thank you.

[Agora1 in reply to 01harley]

Don't expect too much the first few times. It's all about finding what voice, what suggestions work for you best. And then it's a matter of repetition until you respond immediately when hearing that voice. You will know when you get to that point in having your shoulders come down from your ears and you feel an inner peace and tranquility. These videos are capable of eliminating adrenaline and fear. Quieting the Mind/Body Connection. Oh I am so glad Harley that you have found this site.

Make it a habit until you get it perfect. Allow the visualizations and affirmations to stay with you so that you can use them anytime even when not tuned into YouTube.

Take care and breathe xx

[01harley in reply to Agora1]

Ok. Thank you again!!!!!!