at first, i thought i was just introverted because i was uncomfortable with talking to or asking strangers for help, but its gotten worse.
my teacher started calling kids down the row for answers and i could feel my heartbeat racing. she was doing a certain pattern and all my brain could think of was finding out the pattern and repeating the answers over and over and over again so i wouldnt stumble. and the times when im half asleep and my teachers call on me, my throat gets so dry and i can feel myself close to tears and its awful. i cant make eye contact even with my best friend since 5th grade because i can feel them judging me.
but i dont feel close enough to my parents to confide. asian parents have a stigma against anything “”abnormal.”” i dont know what to do. im just rambling.