No support from spouse 😢

[A-HS]

I have depression and it’s already tough enough to deal with as it is, but the lack of support from my spouse really takes a toll on me. He does not understand it and tells me that I should be able to just snap out of it, that I’m not trying hard enough. It’s so disheartening to hear. Most of the time I am quiet because I just feel like being quiet so he forces me to speak and ends up upset because I have no enthusiasm to talk. He says I am a problem. All I want is support. If I vent to him he usually tells me what I’m saying is stupid or he says “here we go again” and rolls his eyes as soon as I mention depression. He says it’s not a real thing. He gets upset because I don’t “snap” out of it. If I try and get help, he basically ridicules me for it. He doesn’t support medication at all and says that I really don’t need it. It’s all in my head. That i will become dependent on medication if I take it. I don’t know how to handle it. It tears me apart to know that the one person that’s supposed to be supportive and comforting is actually being so harsh and indifferent. I’ve tried educating him on depression but just doesn’t get it. How can I make him understand the internal battle I am facing? 😢😢😞

[hypercat54]

Hi the sad fact is you can't. Some people no matter how often you try to explain either don't get it or don't want to. This happens quite a lot with those closest to us. It doesn't mean they don't love you it just means they don't understand.

It is very real though and you shouldn't let his attitude stop you from getting some medical help so make an appointment to see your doctor. Your husband doesn't need to know, not does he need to know if you are on meds. He is wrong by the way about meds, most people are only on them short term to help them feel well enough to start tackling their issues through counselling.

Meanwhile stay with us here as we all get depression and you can talk to us. You are no longer alone. x

[LRobichaux]

Hello. I’m a mom and wife of a husband that sounds like your husband’s twin. I told mine on Sunday that I had weird thoughts of suicide, which have actually somewhat subsided since I told him(never told anyone this) .. and he didn’t freak out but was very worried. But a few days later he’s back to saying “I’m ready for you to get over this”.... he thinks it will just disappear. He now realizes I need meds, but against them typically. Try to tell your husband to act normal around you... if mine looks upset and distant around me because he doesn’t like to see me this way, it doesn’t help. So told him to be as normal as possible and that in time I will get better( may be months).. also continue to ask him to read about our condition so they have some understanding. I’m headed to counseling next week... you need that also if you aren’t in therapy. We all need tools to guide us through these tough times. I see the light finally and have some hope. I was always against confiding in people about my problems but finally I’m reaching out to others (and our husbands may not be those people) ... but they love us they just don’t get it. Take care. I’ll pray for you today.

[bridder01]

Hiya! I really sympathize with what you're going through. Even though I'm not in a relationship, I know how hard it is to communicate what you're going through. It's hard for others to understand if they've never gone through it themselves. Just ask them what you need from them and for their support. It's a hard enough time when you're trying to fight battles on so many fronts. Plus, you've got all of us to support you!

" Courage does not always roar.....Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'"

Brian ☺