A reply post I want to share

[hayrikki]

This a copy of a reply I made to another post. I decided I would post it here as it does describe my cycle of depression and angast. Just needed to get this out.

When the temporal world rears its head I go down, like a tidal wave has washed over me. I tumble and and tumble and somehow I come up for air. I tread water and once or twice I can touch sand under me and think I will make it. Then I feel the pull and even at times I can see the next wave . Panic sets in and then eventually it comes back and I am tumbling all over again. This is a seemingly never ending cycle.

That is how I feel my life. It sounds melodramatic, I agree. I have tried many different therapies, meds, even ECT. The bottom line is it never goes away. Whether that is because I choose it or it is incurable, I don't know. It just is. Depression and PTSD are very tough to work with. I know some who have done great with overcoming it. I am not in that category.

The thing is I haven't completely given up, as I am still alive. There is still this sliver of hope. I just want to feel the sand at my feet and think maybe this time I can escape.

[gerg]

Your visualization is well done. I have done some effective visualization work and covert script work, it is amazing. I put a lot about changing perspective in my replies, and these methods work to change my views.

Thanks for getting it out.