PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

[timafay]

I am 17 years old and Muslim. i am dating someone and i know i am young but they are truly the love of my life. My parents don't approve because he is black and they are pulling me out of school so that i cant meet or speak to him. they also took away my phone so i can't talk to him. i still message him on my laptop and this is tearing us both up. we both love each other more than we could ever put into words. We both constantly feel numb and emotionless, but when we don't feel that, we breakdown and feel like our minds and hearts are being broken a million times over. we still talk but we are out of ideas on how to fix this. We spoke to someone from my school and they are trying to find a way to help but we don't know how much they can do. Since i am still a minor, my parents could transfer my schools if they wanted. I tried speaking to my parents but they wont listen to my reasoning and they think since i am only seventeen, and i haven't known my boyfriend that long, it will be easy for me to forget about him but they don't try to understand how i actually feel, even when i tell them. Neither of us are sure what else to do because we have tried everything we can think of, so i am resorting to this. I've thought about killing myself multiple times but my boyfriend would always stop me. I can't eat anything and neither can he. We are pretty optimistic but we are both getting tired and starting to lose hope and we don't know what to do anymore. Please help us

[MommyBro]

Well, I am an old lady, and I never had a boyfriend or even dated in high school (socially developmentally disabled!), so I can't claim to know how you feel. However, seventeen is very young! I do know some people who started dating in high school, got married, and have been married for 30+ years. I also know people who married their high school sweethearts and reached their 30's and thought "What the heck have I done? I've cut myself off from all other possibilities since I was very young, and now I realize I haven't experienced life fully" and gotten divorced, feeling that they had wasted their youth. So it could go either way. My husband and I met in our early 20's, lived in the same city for one year and then had a long distance relationship for three years before marrying. It wasn't easy, but by then we had been through a lot and knew each other well and could make a solid, calm decision.

My husband is a different race from me, and before we married my mom said she wanted me to break up with him and just move on from him. "Why make your life harder than it has to be?" Of course it wasn't that simple. She said she had broken up with a college boyfriend who was a different religion, as if that was exactly the same. So our life hasn't always been easy (my chronic depression and his chronic arthritis from an early age being two challenges), but I think interfaith and interracial marriages have gotten a little easier over the years.

[timafay in reply to MommyBro]

thank you so much. i know we have different situation but hearing what you have to say really helped. i have a little more hope than i did before so i am really grateful for your reply.