is this anxiety? or depression? compulsion?

[tarabeth1]

recently broken up with. When I wake up the first thing I think is, where is he now? when I look at a map I think, where is he? I'm trying to stay off facebook because I cant stop myself from looking at his page. I look at my phone and open up the last texts between us and read them over and over. Thoughts of him startle me awake when im almost asleep..memories of things we've done & time we've spent together...I cry everyday. I think of him all day. I'm so sad. do I need medication or something? In three days all ive eaten is 3 granola bars and a pickle...I feel sick all the time. I wish I could just disappear.

[MissL27]

Hey Sweetie, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I know exactly how you feel because I am going through the same thing. Many of us here are. You’re trying not to think about him or the memories but they won’t stop. Trying not to go on social media to find him it is very hard to stay away. I have been feeling the same thing. I can’t eat as well. Maybe trying to find a therapist and talk it out may help you. It may not help completely but it’s a start. I understand you.

[tarabeth1 in reply to MissL27]

thank you for the support. I'm going to a counselor later today but am terrible at opening up to people, tried counseling once before and it didn't go well. I'm a mess.

[MandyBueno in reply to tarabeth1]

Go there, and them how you feel. You will get better

[ReadableSG in reply to MandyBueno]

Opening up to someone, such as a counselor is always the first step, you just need to open up

[softwaremom00]

Back in my younger days here were some of my post breakup strategies.. I hope they help you a little:

1. When I was younger and would go through breakups I remember feeling the same way. I know me telling you that this will pass won't help. Back then, One of my friends suggested to me that I pray for the guy who had dumped me. And not just that I pray for him.. but I pray for him to be happy and get everything that he wants out of life. This is hard to do when you are hurting. She said it was a technique that she learned in one of her support groups.. it helps you move past the hurt.

So I tried it... I was hurting so much ... why not. I learned that it actually helps. At first it felt fake to pray for this person to have a happy and wonderful life... but I did it every day. It is worth a try.. go through the motions at first and give it a month.

2. Keeping a journal might help.. you can write anything you want in it. I think paper journals are more therapeutic than computer ones... but whatever works for you.

3. I also found that the breakup energy was a good time to try a new hobby. You won't feel like it but you need a distraction.. Try something new.. .anything you even thought about.

4.Try to get out of the house more.. staying at home always made me dwell on the break up. Take more walks.. go shopping... look at museums...

Tons of hugs and prayers.

[tarabeth1 in reply to softwaremom00]

thank you for the kind words. I have been down this road before, I'm 48. This is the first man I've ever been with that I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, I've never had higher hopes or been laid so low. I still have to see him socially, will have to see him tonight actually...and I'm in pieces just thinking about it. I don't know how i'll get through it. I will pray for him, and me.

[softwaremom00 in reply to tarabeth1]

We are close in age. I can understand.. I know how tough it was to find someone nice when I was younger... I bet it is even harder when you are older. I am so sorry for your hurt... feel free to message me if you need to talk. I remember how hard dating was/can be. Sending even more hugs!

[MandyBueno]

The symptoms you are having is common for someone whose been broken up with, if it is recent, then you are fine. I know this feeling sucks, this is just your body reacting to this new loss, this guy is just like a drug to your brain, and you might go through this uncomfortable situation, these are your hormones responding to you. It takes around 6 months to your brain and body readjust to this new scenario, but if happened...let's say one year ago or more, than it means you couldn't be able to recover. Believe me, it will go away. Feel free to talk to someone you trust, try to engage in activities you like. I've been there before, me and the Guy we were making wedding plans, he totally deceived me and then he dumped me, it was painful, hard and i ended up quitting college, and when someone would tell me it would go away and time would heal me, i'd mentally curse this person because i thought they had no idea about how i felt, but they were right. Today i am a new person, i've gotten the hang of it, i am finishing college,i am dealing well with the fact that if someone choosed to not stay in my Life, they never earned a place in it anyways. Try not to go through his facebook page, do not stalk him ( it will be a a hard task) but if you really want to stop having this bad feeling then you need to do something in order to move on, and some situations like yours can be blessings in disguise, well, mine was, the Guy was a douch...now i see the truth that's been Always in front in front of me. You know our brains can twist our vesion. So, if it is recent, allow yourself to cry and feel the pain ( it is completely normal) but then move on! Cut him loose, readjust your life. Be Strong.

[tarabeth1 in reply to MandyBueno]

thank you. He was the best thing that ever happened to me & what Im going through is entirely my fault. Ive dated tons of assholes and been fucked over by the best of them. Didn't open up to anyone for years & thought I was finally in the right place at the right time. Fell head over heals in love with him. I need to heal my heart again and get a grip, but right now I feel like im falling off a cliff.