Can someone help please: Have you ever... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Can someone help please


Have you ever met someone that makes you believe the love you share is special? They make you believe they are nothing without you, they can’t live without you, if you leave them? They’ve begged you to never leave them. Your life only becomes about them.

You cancel you’re wedding to be with this person because you thought the love was real and you were going to end up with them. You’ve lost all of your friends because they advised you to leave him, he will never leave his family (like he says he will). You stuck around although you never wanted to. You’ve given so many chances because you believed in true love. You e given more chances than you ever should’ve. Have you swallowed your pride and all of your beliefs for true love?

You give them everything in the world, you change your life, bend over backwards, believed all their lies..turns out, you really meant nothing to them and they dump you, like you were garbage. Now you can’t live with yourself because you feel like the biggest fool that ever existed.

I just want to know I’m not alone.. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t live with myself.

9 Replies

I was in a relationship for over a year with someone I was madly in love with, but everyone in my life told me he was absolutely not for me. I ended friendships, stressed family relationships, and gave up a LOT to be with him. He told me he needed me. He told me I was the only good thing in his life and that he would love me forever. I feel like such a fool to have believed him. He ended up cheating on me while I was pregnant with our daughter. I found out when she was only 2 weeks old. I found out by walking in on him in bed with his coworker. Then, I found out it had been going on for months.

The only advice I can give is that the friendships that truly meant something will rekindle. Family relationships can be mended. And getting away from the abusive relationship will make everything a LOT better. It has been 12 years since my daughter and I left her biological father. Best decision I ever made.

MissL27 in reply to cricketannie

I am so sorry you had to go through that during a beautiful experience, after giving birth to your daughter. I have absolutely heard the “he needs me, I am the only good thing in his life and he will love me forever.” I have been mentally abused. That’s what I call it.

There is way more than what I previously wrote in my post, I will not write a book and bore anyone. Thank you for your advice it means a lot to me. I have heard it many times and I know it myself, he doesn’t deserve me and I am the best thing to ever happen to him. It’s just hard getting all of the thoughts out of my head and moving on. I can’t seem to focus on anything including myself.

You are probably still in shock from this trauma. You opened up and gave yourself completely to this man, and he threw it all away. No wonder you can't concentrate!

You weren't foolish. "If you want romance, you got to take the chance." And you took the chance. Unfortunately it didn't work out, but that's all his fault, not yours.

But the only way to move on is to move on. Maybe try some volunteering in your area to help a good cause. Anything to get your mind on other things. You need a mental change of scenery to get past this terrible experience.

MissL27 in reply to jkl5500

Thank you for your kind words. I am having issues falling asleep. You are right about romance, I took the chance so many times and I feel so stupid for doing so. He’s hurt me so many times and I let him.

I’m always so busy in my usual life and even with keeping busy, I still can’t take my mind off of it. I feel helpless. I have anxiety so it constantly runs through my head. I don’t know how to let things go or “stop thinking”. Thank you for your help

In that case, maybe some therapy would be of help if you're having trouble functioning. Don't be afraid to try it if you think you might need it.

MissL27 in reply to jkl5500

I am also in therapy :-/ it helps but once I am out of there it’s right back to the thoughts. Told you I feel helpless.

Take comfort that you did nothing wrong here, and just keep moving forward. Time heals all wounds, and time wounds all heels. You're a good person at heart, and you'll be fine.

MissL27 in reply to jkl5500

Thank you I appreciate your kind words. It does make me feel better to know Im a good person and have a good heart. He knows that and he took advantage of it.

This reminds me of a novella I’m watching right now called Rubi but it’s in spanish and she steals her best friend’s husband the day of the wedding and they run away with each other but she only wanted his money. In the end I THINK she ends up poor again and alone for hurting so many people but I’m just sharing this lol. In time you’ll realize losing that person was for the best and you will meet someone who really values you and you’ll tell the difference. Find something that will distract your mind that guy isn’t worth the energy to dwell for, being such a liar. I know you can pick yourself up! :) the sooner you do I know you can find happiness again. You’re NOT the garbage. He’s the garbage for sure. Sending hugs your way<3 you will get through this with time.

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