Anxiety and Depression Support
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Feeling sad and hating myself

I feel so sad today. I have one good day and six bad ones... A series of events has brought me down and now I just want to go home and cry, but I have to work and deal with people instead. It's so hard to pretend to feel fine, strong and self confident when I'm like this, but I have no choice. I feel like destroying everything good in my life, just to punish myself for being stupid. I'm so introverted that I make very stupid decisions at work too, just to avoid being the center of attention as much as possible.

I'm sorry for this rant. My companion gets mad at me if I talk about this because he says that I look for problems and I don't want to worry my mom. I'm also very reserved and can't talk about this to my friends.

I wish I could disappear but that's not a choice. It would hurt my mom too much and I can't do that to my cats and the strays I help. For many people it may be silly, but cats give me a reason to live. I love them too much to let them go hungry or homeless.

I'm sorry for this post again. Many people here have huge problems and I'm complaining about my silly ones :'(

19 Replies
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No you're not complaining about silly things, forgive yourself! We all here have different situations. I'm here for you! Here's a big hug for you! XXX

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Thank you so much, people like you brighten our days <3

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You sound like a beautiful person. Sorry you feel sad, so sorry at times you want to disappear. I know what you mean trying not to be center of attention and being introverted and making bad decisions. We tend to beat up ourselves unnecessarily try to give yourself a break.

I think you have every right to talk about issues that bother you, nothing wrong with that so I’m sorry to hear your companion gets upset about it. I’m glad you are here where there is much support and understanding.

I think it’s awesome that you care for your cats and the stray cats.

Your problems are just as real as anyone’ else’s. I am glad you are being heard here.

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You are so sweet. Being introverted and having to teach in a graduate course is overwhelming sometimes. I'm being forced to take another position these days and it's like a violence for me.

My husband doesn't understand why I put so much emotion when it comes about cats, but when you are as shy as me, talking and dealing with animals is much easier than having to talk to people, unless I'm behind a screen like here.

Thank you so much for listening. It means a lot.

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No problem. I get overwhelmed easily. Good for you teaching a course! Yup dealing with animals, defidently easier :)

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I'm am sorry your going through that emotional up and down. If I may share something with you about myself, I don't know if it necessarily fits your situation, but it sounds a little familiar. When I was younger, because of my low self esteem I didn't feel I deserved to be happy, could not take a compliment, would put myself down to others even when I had accomplished something good. And when things were going good in my life, I would self sabotage without even realizing it. It took a lot of therapy to realize that because of my low self esteem coming from my childhood, I didn't feel I deserved praise, or to be happy, or loved, so I actually would find a way to sabotage relationships, etc.

I just couldn't understand why or what I did those things for. But it did finally sink in why and what caused that in my young adult life. Now I can work on being okay with being told I did well at something, and smile. It feels good to be loved for who you are, warts and all. It's okay to have good days and bad days..but more good days now than bad days....that's the big difference in my life now. Sure...I will always be a work in progress, but progress has been made. That's the really great thing. I felt hopeless and lost for so many years of my life...I reached out....and that's the first step.

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Fall down 10 times get up 11!!!!

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Yes, even when I see all dark, I know that I can get up. Thank you!

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You're very welcome!!!

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Thank you for sharing that. I'm like your old self. I can't take a compliment. I don't see me beautiful or good enough or anything, and I believe that all my accomplishments in life were a gift of God. He has been good with me.

At work, I got a higher position 2 years ago where I'm supposed to lead a group of people... they are older than me and most of them were my professors so it's unnatural and I feel uneasy. I hate that. Also, At work I'm supposed to show the world how good I am ad strong and pro active, but that's so against my nature that I have to act (literally, like an actress) when I have to talk in front of people. It's like I double my personality to be able to do it.

I don't complain and thank God for the work I have, I just get overwhelmed about some things, really hate others and I have little time left for what I like most of my work.

Yes, I'm trying to get more good days than bad ones. It just takes some time.

And I'm glad that you've managed to feel better.

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I have a very good friend who is a retired family therapist. She once told me something that I thought was so funny, but so very true. I asked her if she didn't mind if I asked her something on a professional level...therapy question...and she said; ' sure, just a minute while I change hats', I laughed and asked her what she meant. She explained simply that she has her work persona and her 'off work', personable friend persona where she can let her hair down and hang out and be herself with her friends. I thought about that, and she was right. I ran my own business for almost 30 yrs. and had employees that I had to delegate work to everyday, I also had to deal with the clients who were usually architects, or very wealthy, neither of which I was. So, at home, hats off, and I'm a T-Shirt and shorts getting dirty in the garden or cookin in the kitchen kinda gal....So, putting on your work hat and then taking it off when your off the clock makes sense.

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Nice story! Yes, it's the only way to make it work sometimes. Thank you for sharing your experience with us!

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Let me tell you that I've seen all of you reply in many posts and what you are doing is awesome. You help so many people while struggling yourself, and it's an example for all of us.

A BIG thank you!

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I'm new here, but I can completely relate. I have a dog and a cat that depend on me, and the most wonderful partner in the world. They keep me here. :)

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Oh, yes... those little creatures always manage to make us smile even during the darkest days.

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Each of us try to find something to make us feel better or want to go on. NONE OF THEM ARE SILLY!!!!

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Thank you :)

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I like cats too. And my pet parakeets

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Animals make the best companions :)

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