I feel so sad today. I have one good day and six bad ones... A series of events has brought me down and now I just want to go home and cry, but I have to work and deal with people instead. It's so hard to pretend to feel fine, strong and self confident when I'm like this, but I have no choice. I feel like destroying everything good in my life, just to punish myself for being stupid. I'm so introverted that I make very stupid decisions at work too, just to avoid being the center of attention as much as possible.
I'm sorry for this rant. My companion gets mad at me if I talk about this because he says that I look for problems and I don't want to worry my mom. I'm also very reserved and can't talk about this to my friends.
I wish I could disappear but that's not a choice. It would hurt my mom too much and I can't do that to my cats and the strays I help. For many people it may be silly, but cats give me a reason to live. I love them too much to let them go hungry or homeless.
I'm sorry for this post again. Many people here have huge problems and I'm complaining about my silly ones