Today was good: Yesterday was horrible... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Today was good

applesforever2020 profile image

Yesterday was horrible, today was good. I do sometimes feel like I am on an unstoppable roller coaster. But, I am trying to take it one day at a time and accept that there will be days I cannot deal with my depression and OCD. But I think that in time perhaps the good days may outnumber the bad. Foremost, I am trying not to let so many things bother me. I am trying to realize that I can be happy without the approval of others. This comes on the heels of a problem I am having with my oldest friend, who does not always treat me with the support or kindness that should come with a friendship. But I need to realize that I am not dependent on how others feel about me, especially if I have not done anything to warrant unkind behavior. I am also hoping to use this experience to evaluate who I let close to me in my life. Those who habitually hurt you, whether intentionally or not, should not be allowed to continue to do so. Thanks for reading! Always feels good when I vent on here. :)

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applesforever2020 profile image
applesforever2020
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9 Replies
jkl5500 profile image
jkl5500

It sounds like you have a constructive approach to deal with these problems. Progress with depression, OCD, etc., unfortunately, doesn't come in a straight line. There are days when you backtrack, and it's very painful and discouraging. But you must be persistent. The good days will eventually far outnumber the bad ones. You're doing fine.

applesforever2020 profile image
applesforever2020 in reply to jkl5500

Thank you! :)

Dragon1940 profile image
Dragon1940

That's awesome that you had a wonderful day! Indeed we should be wary of those who wish to only dish harm to us & take our kindness for granted, for you deal with too much on a daily to have stress added on from someone who clearly is not deserving of friendship, but that is amazing that you are becoming independent from how others feel about you, that is the first step to developing self esteem, confidence, & not letting others sink you further into the fox hole of depression. It is even more awesome to hear how venting on here improves your mood for that is what i'm sure each member here wishes for everyone else! :) So continue down that road of self improvement miss! Your doing great so far! :)

applesforever2020 profile image
applesforever2020 in reply to Dragon1940

Thank you so much! All the kind responses really mean a lot to me, especially coming from people who understand where I am coming from. Hope you're doing well! :)

Dragon1940 profile image
Dragon1940 in reply to applesforever2020

My pleasure! :) we too have been in similar situations & perhaps still are which is why we understand the struggles the members of this community face & will always be here to support you :) I am doing okay I hope you as well are having wonderful days! :)

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

A friend would not hurt you, yes, everyone has a bad day or gets short with someone close to them, but you apologize for being a jerk, and move on. If your friend is always hurting you more than being a friend....then maybe you should give them some distance, and if your comfortable with it...ask them what's up, and tell them some things they do hurt your feelings, they may not even know it. There are a lot of good people out there, and as time goes by in our recovery, we will see that we deserve to be treated with the same kindness and respect we would treat someone else with. We find better friends too...

applesforever2020 profile image
applesforever2020 in reply to fauxartist

Hi! Thanks for the response! I have actually been friends with her for a very long time and she is my best friend. But I know there is a pattern to our friendship where she is only close with me and friendly when she wants to be. She likes to tell me that that is just how she is and she isn't overly emotive and doesn't get bothered by anything. But then it just feels like you are trying to force someone to be your friend, even though she has indicated that is not the case. I dated a lot of people this past year trying to find someone to connect with and have dealt with this kind of behavior so much that I am really just tired of it. I wish people could just act like adults and say how they feel. I talked to my counselor and she told me that I need to decide if this is something I am ok with. I think that I can continue to be her friend, but I think I need to maybe not be as close with her as before. I think I should find people who are maybe more supportive. Whew, sorry for venting, but I am someone who likes to get stuff out (clearly, lol).

You say that; but, we want people at accept us... We need it as human beings. I wish there was always at least one solid person in our lives that accept us and integrate with us at all times. It's even worse when you think you have it and then it ends and rips you aparts.

applesforever2020 profile image
applesforever2020 in reply to

This is true, it is a natural desire to have people accept us. Just like it is a natural desire to have people we can be really close with. I know what you mean, when someone you thought was close to you ends up hurting you it feels horrible. Nothing is permanent, but I think that there are some people who no matter what will be there for you in some way or another. In the meantime I want to start to be happy with myself.

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