not normal just a freak

[Nato22]

Wondering of something is really terribly wrong with me at work no one to talk to everyone hates me dont know why cant connect to anyone.this is the only place i feel that i am understood or maybe im just loosing my mind and no one cares i feel like dying rite now im so miserable every part of me hates my job i hate the people i wana die now

[Hidden]

We all care about you! This is this ugly disease talking to you! Are you getting any help? I'm here for you if you need me! I wish you peace !

[CazO46]

Please don't give up. I can hear your pain which tells me you care and ate a sensitive person. Not all work places are good for us so perhaps you could think about making plans to look for another job? At least if you are thinking about it then you might feel less stuck. One day at a time and keep posting here where you will always have a friend 🙂

[Nato22]

i thought therapy would help but its draining me even further i think my brain is dying slowly from this depression i dont wana do it i really dont but im feeling close to it everyday i need help

[Starrlight]

Go to a crisis center or a hospital to get some help. You deserve to feel better, Nato.

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

And it would be good to call your therapist.

[Nato22]

giong to stop bothering everyone with my issues wil be my last post

[Concernedparent23]

You're not bothering us at all.

We want to hear from you, we're here for you

Please keep posting x

[hypercat54]

Nato this is what the site is for us all helping and supporting each other so you are not 'bothering' any of us, you are just using the site as intended. Sometimes we need more than we can give and that's fine.

It takes a lot of effort and thinking about to hate someone so I am sure no one at work hates you. They might find you difficult to understand or they might think you are shy and prefer to be left alone. This is a totally different matter. You can't know how others are feeling unless you ask them.

I think the therapy CBT could help you. Maybe that's something worth asking your therapist or doctor about. Meanwhile keep posting and we will keep listening. x

[Concernedparent23]

How are you doing just now Nato22?

[Nato22]

feeling empty and sad trying hard to block out the demons in my mind i wish there was anyother way

[Concernedparent23]

so pleased to see you posting again Nato22, although of course I'm sorry you feel so empty and the demons are still lurking.

It's hard for you to believe this right now but the demons won't be there forever.

Think about a time when you were free of them. I know things changed so now they're back, but that means things can change again and they will leave you alone (I am shouting at them right now to "go away").

What do you usually do to block them out?

Is there someone who can give you a hug just now? Ask them just to hold you without saying anything so they don't feel they have to "fix" you and they know they are helping just being there.

I am sending you millions of hugs right now xxxx

Please Keep posting

[Nato22]

thank you for the kind words and hugs i dont have anyone around me that cares for me im pretty much alone i lock myself in my room try to read or watch movies on my laptop most of the time.sending hugs your way as well. thanks everyone for taking time to listen more than my family.hope to be as much supportive to all of yo

[CatsHelpMe in reply to Nato22]

I'm also glad to see you still posting here. You don't bother any of us, this is a place where no one judges each other, we all come here to find support.

About your job, try to take it one day at a time. Don't think ahead, just focus on each day until you can find one that you like more, if that is possible.

Like hipercat54 said, it's likely that no one hates you, but maybe they don't see you well and prefer not to disturb. It happens to me all the time that people think I'm angry when I'm just silent and that doesn't help me get out of my shell. I'm not the first choice when people want to have fun, but I'm learning not to care, as long as I feel well with myself.

Please don't isolate, you can come here any time you need to talk or feel overwhelmed. A lot of us care.

[MRawPR]

Talking down about yourself will not help you feel better. Stop hating yourself and be grateful that you are alive. You don’t like your job or the people around you at work, start looking for something else. Focus on making plans to improve your quality of life instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Depression and anxiety want to control us. See your doctor and get the help you need to keep on living a good life. There is hope. I did it so can you.