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Realizing your kid inherited depression/anxiety...yikes!

erin_c profile image
13 Replies

I know my grandmother suffered and self medicated with alcohol, my mother suffered, I suffer, so I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that my dear little eight-year-old daughter also suffers with anxiety and depression. She's been given many advantages and lots of love, two sets of grandparents are still alive and healthy and happily married past 50 years, her father and I married 20 years, a loving home. But still, up pops anxiety and depression! Arg!! A good reminder that this is a disease and not just the outcome of difficult environmental circumstances. Although those things can definitely trigger.

Her anxiety started after we moved to a new city, away from her happy circle of friends in a school she loved. For the past year it has manifested with tummyache's especially at night. We are treating her as budget allows with therapy (just started), herbal supplements, meditation and cognitive thinking exercises. I bought a book about anxiety in children and we went through it together including some exercises. We are seeing a doctor for a physical causes but it looks like it's probably stomach acid issues and I really can't tell if that's triggered by the anxiety. Even so, she is taking medication for that.

In our new city, she has gradually settled in a great school with a good circle of friends.

But still I'm realizing as a parent it is my job not only to manage my own depression and anxiety so that I can create the most loving home possible but also teach her how to manage it successfully so she can live a full life.

Sorry this is long. Anybody else in this situation? Seeing this disease carrying on in your children?

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erin_c profile image
erin_c
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13 Replies
Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

Hi Erin! I have a 10 yr old and 6 yr old who show signs of anxiety and the older depression and ADD. The older son goes to a focus group and is in advanced classes so so far it has not affected his grades. We have an ADDworkbook we practice a bit in and we do some meditation although I think I need to be doing more. I remind them of deep breathing exercises that they can use any time ... was the best when my 6 year old came home and ssid he became upset and when he used deep breathing he felt better :)

What types of herbal supplements do you give yours? Have you noticed a difference? I give mine omega-3 vitamins. I have a mindfulness and anxiety workbook that I’ve been meaning to work on that I can teach them with. But maybe one for children would be great too!

It sounds like you have in place some truest helpful tools. Best to you.

erin_c profile image
erin_c in reply to Starrlight

Hi! Similar...My older son (11) has ADHD (a classic case, also shared by BOTH grandmothers!) and Turret's (tics). Thankfully he's still thrived at school and with friends. We talk openly about all our various mental and brain issues without judgement so we can learn about and manage them. Supplements we are trying include GABA for brain/happiness, magnesium for Calm. Homeopathic blend for anxiety tummy related issues (found on amazon!).

"What to do when you worry too much" is great for kids/anxiety! (And I got stuff from it too).

"Parenting ADHD Now" is a great book resource.

Sounds like you've got some good tools. All this can be a challenge while coping with our own issues!! But step by step, every little thing helps.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to erin_c

I’m going to look into GABA and I defidently want to try magnesium just need to see how much to give them.

What to do when you worry too much I’d like to check out.

Thank you so much! Yes, every little thing does help. I agree it’s great to be open about the issues and work through them together.

erin_c profile image
erin_c in reply to Starrlight

CALM gummies and NOW brand GABA ... both the chewables, both found on Amazon. :)

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to erin_c

Thanks I ordered Calm powder for drinks.

tarpley1972 profile image
tarpley1972

Hi Erin! You are not alone. I have 16 year old identical twins...and I have always dreaded if one of them presented with anxiety or depression. Happened a few years ago. It isn't easy to deal with at all. I feel a lot of guilt...and helplessness. We are managing the stomach acid issues...and dealing with the severe anxiety attacks with herbal medications like Passion Flower, chamomile, etc. She hates taking any kind of medication...thus if the anxiety progresses to depression it will be challenging to deal with. Right now we are trying exercise each day, herbal supplement as needed, and a peer-to-peer support group. I continue to hope for the best.

erin_c profile image
erin_c in reply to tarpley1972

Thanks for sharing! Personally, I have been surprised to see it present in my daughter so young...eeek! I didn't figure any of this out myself till late 20's/early 30's. I guess the upside is that we can learn tools and techniques at a young age, hopefully build in good habits for her. She's very self aware and smart, capable and a great girl. I hate to see her suffer with the anxiety and tummy aches though. Hopefully we'll figure out some solutions. Working on it!

tarpley1972 profile image
tarpley1972

I wouldn't be concerned about it presenting so soon. My daughters started at about eight or nine too. It was VERY gradual....and we were just very open with it. The sad thing is that she doesn't want to talk to her GP about it...or see a specialist....or take medication....so I hope for her sake it doesn't get too bad.

Rhody3333 profile image
Rhody3333

Hi Erin

Sorry you're going through this. You are doing many good things for your daughter. My grandson has had something similar with his tummy hurting, too. Turns out he was anxious from a gastrointestinal situation. His pediatrician had referred him to a pediatric gastroenterologist. Just wanted to mention it. Best wishes.

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Hi erin, A BIG YES, kids definatly inhert your anxiety and depression. my daughter told me that she has been suffering from the same...I feel GUILTY. how she manages day to day? she's even completing her bachelor degree on top of everything else she has to deal with. Sometimes she's very emotional I just listen, I owe her that.

erin_c profile image
erin_c in reply to Want2BHappy3

That's nice you can listen, it means a lot. My mom does the same for me (has also had depression /anxiety but is in a good stage of life with the right meds working for her).

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to erin_c

yea, the least I can do...she and I have an understanding about it. though sometimes having anxiety you have trouble controlling it. since I know about this with her, I bite my tounge. she said it makes her feel better.

Frankie24 profile image
Frankie24

Bipolar runs ramped in both sides of my family as does depression , panic & anxiety disorder. Mine began around age 7. I have many cousins with mental health issues and was finally able to get my 20 something son to go for treatment when I saw it affecting his life. He is doing great now with therapy and medication. I am stable on my medication’s.

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