I’m tired. Inside my soul. I messed up. Went against what is good for me. It feels like my heart is actually aching I don’t want to give the other side of hope the power but I am depressed and anxious and no matter what I do it feels not enough. I feel unworthy. Many problems to fix. Overwhelming. Dark. I can’t concentrate to do meaningful things.
The people around me trigger me right now even though they are my best support; it’s just how it appears to me right now. I try to reach out but can’t go deep to express very well and don’t want to worry people.
I have things to look forward to but now I feel like dying. It’s all relative; all the ways we choose to see things but then sometimes we have no choice. I get tired of trying so hard. Maybe I will just let myself be. Be depressed or be whatever. Maybe I care too much.
I wish I wouldn’t feel such a barrier between myself and everything that is good.