It’s been 6 months since I’ve been able to leave my home in peace. I want to visit my grandma and my friends but I can’t I always have to make a stupid excuse why I can’t go. My anxiety sucks so bad I’m mostly just scared of having a panic attack. I push myself to go out but I’m miserableeee all the time it stresses me out more than helps. I thought exposing myself to those situations would help. I recently went to the doctor for a checkup and he made jokes of my very pale skin lol but it’s honestly because I don’t go out alot. All I want to do is be able to go out to even just the damn grocery store I literally speed through the aisles and half escape. It’s awefull!!! My hair has gotten so long I’ve been dying to cut it but the salon I want to go to is 30 minutes away. I have clubhouse access with pool and gym but I have nobody to go with :/ I’m so bored at home how is going to the pool alone any fun. I do go out but it’s for a few minutes. I’m getting tired of myself I feel so pathetic.