Both my roommates are gone for spring break, so I'm here alone. I'm okay with it, I actually enjoy it. Dancing alone in the living room...singing while blasting music...taking walks...just being by myself. Today I thought it would be a good idea to go to the art museum by myself, there's an exhibit that I really want to see that's going away soon. I even planned to go the night before. But I'm too scared to call an uber! I've taken ubers before and have even taken one by myself before. Being at a place alone is no problem, but now for some reason the thought of getting to and from is the most daunting for me, especially doing it alone. I start to imagine scenarios where something could go wrong. My day started at 11 am, but it is now 4 pm and I still want to go to the museum, but I don't even want to leave my apartment now because I've been so reluctant about this whole transport situation that it's made me even more nervous than I thought I would be today. I'm even dressed and all ready to go... I think the fact that I let so much time pass is making me not want to leave either. And being a young woman makes me wary about taking ubers alone, can't help it.
I think I'm going to call it quits and try again tomorrow, but yeah, i just wanted to share this to feel better.
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anna123455
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Hi anna1234455, I'm glad you did share your feelings. I think you've seen that you are fine in doing things alone when you have control of the situation. Dancing, singing, taking a walk etc. I think you are being rational about taking an uber alone. You are more than willing to go to the museum but it's getting there that's stopping you. Sleep on your decision and see how you feel tomorrow. It is sad that the world today makes us mistrust people which ends up having a big impact in the way we enjoy life. Let us know what you decide. Stay safe, but don't be caught between a rock and a hard place. xx
Thank you so much. You are so right about having control! Me feeling like there was a lack of control was very uncomfortable. I'll definitely update about tomorrow. Hopefully I can say I saw the exhibit !
Hi Anna, maybe you're just being very cautious about taking an uber alone. Is there any other activity you can do by yourself, and maybe get there by foot or bus?
Anna is there something else going on with your health, are you anxious, I don't blame you for not wanting to go out at alone, O hope everything is fine with your health 💜
I can totally understand your apprehensiveness about taking Uber alone. Do you have pepper spray, or any other means of protection for yourself while your out and about? I bought all of my adult kids pepper spray back when I used to watch forensic files a lot. I have since calmed down a bit, but I still have my pepper spray. I wonder if you could request a female Uber driver?
The art museum sounds interesting. I hope you are able to go.
I did bring pepper spray with me just for piece of mind. But yeah this was just another instance when extreme fear gets the best of me phew. The exhibit was very interesting! It was showcasing actual Terra cotta soldiers from the tomb of the first qin dynasty emperor
I understand, I started going to the gym and I really was enjoying it but now there's a guy that I can't help but feel is talking behind mine and my b.f. back, I guess we annoyed him somehow and it's really bothering me and I'm starting to want to quite the gym bc I go in such panic when I see him. I can't go at a different time and my b.f. thinks I'm being silly. When the guy curses out loud I can't help but feel there directed towards me bc I'm always in somewhere around him. I'm scared of confrontation so I most likely will never say anything but I hate how bad it's affecting me......
I totally understand! I tend to internalize times where a person reacts negatively to me a lot and it keeps me from doing or going somewhere again because I never want to risk feeling put down or embarrassed. One of my fears about taking the uber alone was "what if i somehow miss the uber? what if i get listed as a no-show?" because of an instance last year...
Did you go to the exhibit? I hope you did! But also, if you weren't feeling like doing it for some reason don't force yourself! Is there something else you'd rather do? If you're forcing yourself it might not be fun or relaxing. Sometimes when I force myself to go out I'm anxious before I even leave my apt and then I just float around in a daze lol! Sending you good vibes! ☀️☀️☀️
Yesterday morning was definitely daze like! When I saw how much time I let pass I got very upset with myself too. Thanks for the vibes! I did go to the exhibit!!
It's wonderful you've had some time alone and got to do such things without care at home! I'm so very, very rarely home alone. I completely understand your thought process here. For myself, I tend to overthink things so much and wind up upset and not doing what I wanted. If you can, try not to be too hard on yourself about today. You made an effort and that counts. Tomorrow is a new day filled with possibilities. Is there another way to get to the art exhibit besides uber? I can understand feeling uncomfortable with that.
Yeah it's just taking it alone that I'm not into. Safety is a concern, but also forced interactions with a stranger in a confined space is so unappealing to me sometimes that i'll try to avoid it as much as possible. Thank you so much for that tip of being easy on myself. I am way too harsh on myself... sometimes it hinders me to do things, because I feel like bad things are just going to happen to me. But yes, tomorrow is a new day !
UPDATE: I went to the exhibit today! Thank you to everyone for such supportive words and suggestions. I tried not to overthink it too hard and found it much easier to leave the apartment. Yesterday I was also kind of dreading interacting with a stranger in a car, but my uber driver was actually very nice and an alumni of my major so he gave me advice lol.
Hi anna, I'm glad you went. It sounds like it was a reconfirmation that there are nice people in this world plus you got to enjoy yourself. Have a good evening. xx
Yay! I am happy to hear you made it! I know sometimes for myself, I cause more problems over thinking the situation than if I just went and did it. And it is super hard to just act and not think! I hope you had a wonderful time!
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I want to heal I swear I do 
I don't want to be me anymore 
I don't want to do anything!
I Don’t Know What To Do
Still beyond anxious and I don't know what to do.
