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Fearful thoughts and feelings and a huge lack of motivation

Aozora___3 profile image
17 Replies

I've had a huge wave of depression all of last week, it made me feel extremely tired all week even though i slept so much and the motivation to do any work was just gone. I feel like my depression is calming down, but now my anxiety is rising. I keep getting these bursts of fear and that i just don't feel like myself. It's making me want to cry and just crawl away somewhere. I hate this feeling.

I know im not going to die, but my mind and body is trying to make me fear anything and i don't know how to get rid of this fearful feeling. I hate waking up in the mornings because i just have to battle with myself and i get so tired and feel really 'sluggish' from it everyday.

I need lots of motivation to get my work done, but it's just like im being pulled away from doing it. Then i have negative thoughts about failing my course, and getting bad grades in my exams so i may as well give up now. I don't know how to stop these thoughts and feelings :(

I'm on a waiting list for a self help one to one therapy sessions, but that could take up to 2 weeks to be seen :(

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Aozora___3
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17 Replies
fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

I am sorry your having such a hard time, I was reading some of your past posts and it seems your struggling with meds a lot. Have you talked to your doctor about maybe getting some sort of balance and also getting some therapy to work through your fears?

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to fauxartist

My health anxiety interferes with medication:( im okay with diazepam but I haven’t felt like i have needed it for about a week now. I am waiting on therapy for my anxiety but i just dont know when it will start

Dubba61 profile image
Dubba61

Hi i think its very difficult to be a Student these days so much pressure. But you have got this far and i am sure you are an intelligent young women. I think the one to one Therapy will help a lot. So it's a question of getting through till then. I've suffered from Anxiety for a long time, and there are no quick answers. The right medication, remembering to deep breath and sometimes just trying to take your mind from it. A good book or film or art work, help me. I,ve done plenty of retakes too and it's not nice but not the end of the world either.😉 good luck.

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to Dubba61

Yes im looking forward for therapy, i really hope it helps as the cbt i did, didn’t help. I’ve watched so many movies this week but college was closed due to bad weather 😅 so maybe i just need to go to college and find my motivation there. But i have many books that are waiting to be read, i just never read them.

Thank you for responding!! :)

Dubba61 profile image
Dubba61

Oh me too. Shelves full! In a very slow reader. 😊

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to Dubba61

I just love collecting books! 😊

I keep getting headaches and im not sure if its from the anxiety/depression?

Jmerrick22 profile image
Jmerrick22

Wow this sounds like me. I don't know what it is but I feel like for me the anxietys just been building and building lately and I've been stressed I know that but it sucks. I was literally fine earlier today I was at a friends house and colored her hair and we went for a ride I was fine, I come home and I'm teary eyed . I haven't felt myself this week I've been off. This anxiety is so weird it's unbelievable and it's like I know it causes weird thoughts and all but it's like I can't physically and mentally convince myself it's just anxiety. I kinda feel like just breaking down on someone and crying . It drives me nuts trying to figure out what triggers me . I hate this

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to Jmerrick22

Yes i am just the same as you! It’s so horrible, especially when you don’t know what triggers you. My doctor said that some people never even find a trigger and i fear that i may be one of those people

Have you tried talking to a doctor about how you feel?

Jmerrick22 profile image
Jmerrick22 in reply to Aozora___3

I've been to a therapist before and now a psychologist but it makes me scared kinda because I'm anxiety ridden. I know it's normal and just that but maybe I shouldn't of stopped prozac cuz my insurance ran out. So many things so many questions . I've had lexapro, Paxil , Cymbalta and prozac and prozac works the best for

Me and Ativan low dose when I have panic attacks. Thankfully I'm learning to calm

Myself and not use the Ativan when I have an attack. But honestly sometimes anxiety makes me afraid of myself lol idk how to explain it and I don't wanna sound crazy

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to Jmerrick22

I do understand what you are trying to explain! It sucks that your insurance has run out. But just try and do some natural methods i guess, i wish you well!

in reply to Jmerrick22

That's not crazy I'm the same way and was on the same meds but stopped for the same reasons, Do you ever feel like the meds made your anxiety issues worse not when taking it but now that you don't.

ohheyitsstacy profile image
ohheyitsstacy

I am really sorry you're going through that, I can imagine how frustrating and unnerving it is to feel like that. I think that therapy and journelling are really helpful - those are the things that help me when I feel depressed and anxious. And really tuning into your body and doing what will make YOU feel better. Not anyone else, but you (but proactive things!). Some exercise could be good too, even if it's a walk around your block. It's an achievement and you did it! You will get through this, I know you will. Sometimes life throws us these obstacles to test us and make us stronger so we can see just how amazing we are. Sending you lots of love <3

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to ohheyitsstacy

That was a lovely response, thank you so much! Definitely going to try my best to overcome this and find ways that help me the most. Thank you once again! ✨

I can relate so much to your situation, only difference is mine is pretty much anything and everything is going to be bad and then it's alot about my relationship also. I just always feel runned down, Depression and like I have nothing to fight to be around for and that's the thing I have 3 kids so I definitely have reasons to keep going. But for the life of me I don't know how to get past this and my relationship is just making me worse I'm always crying and feeling alone. I'd like to speak more Maybe we can help build each other.

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to

Yes I totally understand what you’re going through! I feel quite alone too even though i have a partner, but the communication just lacks between us. Definitely try getting therapy or write a journal! It really helps

in reply to Aozora___3

I agree it's the same for us, n writing helps. But I feel like the only thing that will be better for me is if he just wants to be involved and actually cares. But then I feel like I just don't want it at all. I honestly just want to be ok with me either way. Is that even possible?

Aozora___3 profile image
Aozora___3 in reply to

Maybe talk to him about it, that’s the best way. And tell him how you feel too

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