I love my job but I dislike working. I have to work though. I believe working pushes me towards my goals. However, they seem so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. I’d rather build an earth ship and live off the land; not calculate numbers and check in at a certain time. I’m empowered when I’m at work but waking up on Mondays bring so much anxiety to go to a place I love. I work for a caring doctor who is not demanding. I get performance anxiety and I know I’m good at my job; even got a raise and promotion after 30 days. I gotta get this anxiety out of my system. It feels like my body and mind will just shut down. I cry and it helps a little. But I just get up and face the music. I just wanna scream. There’s so much anxiety in me.