Too many changes

[GemBec]

I have noticed that my OCD really gets my anxiety flared up. I like routines and I like when my routines stay as close as possible daily. Unfortunately, change is a part of life. I am planning a short vacation that is now a week away. I couldn't wait to have some "me" time with no work but as the trip gets closer i feel like im walking a plank into a volcano instead of going on a relaxing vacation. I have had some major changes at work lately and in my personal life which has made my anxiety already high and as the trip gets closer I just can't settle down. Vacation should be fun and happy not a lingering nightmare. Okay sorry very long. I just needed to tell someone because no one I talk to on a daily basis understands. They all think im making it up or making it a BIG deal.

[jkl5500]

I struggle with OCD also, and I can get huge jolts of anxiety when I don't perform a routine (officially called a "ritual") the right way. My problem is that I'm always checking to make sure I did something "correctly", so that it doesn't endanger someone else. It leads to some pretty embarrassing scenes, as a lot of this checking is done in front of other people, and I have to check as casually as possible, and hope I don't stand out.

Believe me, I understand how you are suffering. When my anxiety gets really bad, I'll take an Ativan and it usually mellows me out.

I hope you can find a way to relax and enjoy your vacation. After all you've gone through, you deserve one.

Take care,

jkl5500

[fauxartist]

I'm glad your sharing here.