I am an Adult Child of Alcoholics

[Imakook]

I am also an alcoholic in recovery for 24 years, attend AA and Alanon but have just opened the Pandora's Box of how my past affects my present.

This all started when I was feeling used, overwhelmed & disrespected at my job of 20 years.

My job creates over-the-top stress. The few in my area feel the wrath and shame of unrealized expectations from supervisors & management. We come up with deadlines that we feel are reasonable, they are reviewed by mgmnt, "revised" & given back with a "You can do it. Go TEAM!!". Guess what? We don't make the deadline.

Between work stress and major physical issues I have due to osteoarthritis, I started to get really angry, butting heads, rebelling, having to prove myself & I became the target of intense micro-management.

In the meantime I had arranged to go out on leave for major surgery to alleviate Spinal Stenosis. I'm using FMLA for a few months.

I've had a 3-level spine surgery to replace 3 disks. I'm also taking this time to work on my mental issues. I had all the testing. I have issues ranging from ADHD to depression to personality disorder. So I'm pretty messed up but am oh-soooooo willing to work hard & get better. I'm happy to be here!

[GM1954]

Good for you in your recovery. You are brave. Work is very stressful. Find others who are supportive. Keep up the good work!!!!

[Stilltrying_]

Thanks for sharing. I was watching a programme today that said children of alcoholics have so much that they go through so well done you for being strong and wanting to get better. It sounds incredibly stressful at work and great that you are ready to work hard at further recovery. Well done you ! X

[gerrerd]

The past is gone we can,t change it. Every day is a clear page to create your future. I know it,s very hard when you have physical problems. I think it,s great that you also manage to work, most people could not manage that. People at work who are brain washed into the thinking of more, more to line someone elses pockets. They just dont have a clue. The most important thing is you and your health is more, important take care of this first .Learn to relax and leave them to it. Hope this helps. Gerrerd.

[Imakook in reply to gerrerd]

It does help, Gerrerd. I am not working right now due to Short Term Disability. I can't be sure that I can handle going back. I know I have choices, but the almighty dollar is pretty necessary. Here's the thing. I am 60 & plan on retiring in the next couple of years. I just have to wait to see how much pain is affecting me (pretty bad right now). Hopefully, if I can get myself physically & mentally stable I can handle going back. I was a mess when I was last there in October. Thanks for your comments!

[gerrerd in reply to Imakook]

I retired at 61 after a long struggle keeping a job. But the best advice i could give is do whats best for you. because you are the only one that counts. Not someone elses business. Best wishes . Gerrerd

[Agora1]

I'm happy to see you here as well. Good luck in your recovery from surgery. We will be here waiting to help you when you are ready. Take care and stay positive. x