I am not comfortable sharing emotional problems. So this post is a first for me.

[JohnS12345]

I cant really describe how I feel. But i feel that i cannot connect to anyone around me, including those closest to me (parents, sisters, extremely close friends that I met as a child) and i cant understand why. I am only beginning to notice this because if an incident last week. This past week someone found out something about me (by hacking my computer) that is really embarrassing and could affect me for the rest of my life if revealed. It was a secluded action and I honestly could care less if I never do it again. (This action was not illegal but extremely embarrassing). It has been paralyzing and plaguing me for about a week now and I cant find a way to get past it. These feelings are entirely new to me and I don't really understand how to cope with the anxiety (constantly thinking that this will be released) or the depression, thinking about the fallout from its release. I know if I could talk to this person I could logically explain the reasoning behind my actions, but don't want to provoke this person and am kind of scared to talk to him. I have never felt so vulnerable, depressed, or helpless before in my life. Im a good person, I think I might have serious relationship / trust issues that have affected me for a couple years now, but only realized this later this week. Sorry for the long post, I have never talked to anyone about my emotional problems before and need some advice on how to cope with this.

Edit: Was not my company computer, accidentally typed that.

[Agora1]

Hi John. Welcome to the Anxiety Forum. I think you will find some comfort here, knowing that we don't judge, we listen and we care. We all do things in life that could be embarrassing if others found out. Being truthful to ourselves and learning from that experience is the first step to take. I believe in that you are a good person. Most people who make a mistake are. We are human, we are curious beings.

You are in a position now that is making you feel cornered. You have 2 options, the first is to deal with this man who hacked your computer, lay the cards out on the table and hopefully resolve the situation. The other option is to continue to cower and suffer in silence as anxiety/depression over take your life. Making you always looking over your shoulder. Fear to breathe in not knowing when or if this might come out.

I hope somehow you will find this forum a safe place (as others have). A place you can come to talk about your emotions freely and without reservation. We help each other by sharing our life's journey whether good or bad, positive or negative. The outcome is in you knowing you are never alone. We've all been in that difficult place. We extend our hand to you in comfort and caring.

[Vonnah in reply to Agora1]

I agree❤ this is a safe place. We all care and are here to listen. 😊

[Vonnah]

Hi, i hope you feel better! Try seeking a therapist they are very helpful in getting out your emotional problems or issues. If you can't speak to anyone you know or friends/family a therapist or psychiatrist is best.

If you need any advice or need to talk I'm free! Please talk to me and i will try my best to help you. You deserve to be happy and remember everybody makes mistakes and we just need to try to learn from them and pick ourselves back up again!❤ you can do it!

Chat me on here anytime! And welcome to the community❤ people here care and we listen. Feel free to vent here as it's very safe to do so☺

[Justswimming]

Um if it's not illegal why are you so freaked out by it? If you accessed weird porn from your computer you could get fired by most companies now a days so don't do that. You can always get a therapist they legally can't tell anyone unless you confess to wanting to hurt yourself or someone else. Hope it goes well.

[nimon]

Thanks for sharing. Becoming self-aware and expressing yourself is the path to dealing with many issues we face. We all make mistakes. Maybe if you found someone to talk to who you can share this embarrassing experience it might relieve some of the anxiety it is creating. Maybe they could help guide you through this. Approaching the person will obviously resolve some of the emotions because you wouldn't continue to wonder but it's tough to say what the best course of action is here. The good news is over time these feelings will shrink. I can remember agonizing over things for weeks but now struggle to remember what I actually did. It will get better and learn from this.

[fauxartist]

unless this person has threatened to expose what ever this is that your worried about I wouldn't talk to them about it. And how do you know otherwise you were hacked, and that this particular issue was exposed. What indicated that you were hacked, and how did you know this person did it.