My weight is ruining my relationship - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

63,104 members62,066 posts

My weight is ruining my relationship

Garben profile image

Hey guys. I just really need to spill out my emotions to an audience right now and I feel like this is the safest place I can do it.

When I first met my boyfriend I was about 135 pounds. I’m 5’6” so I had a really great body. Over time I gained a lot of weight but I was able to lose it (200 to 140 pounds). Now I’ve gained weight again and my relationship is hurting... I finally decided to come out and ask if me being overweight was a reason that I feel distant and unloved and it turns out I was right. It was a blow I never thought I would hear and since hearing that I have been a wreck. I drank a lot last night to try and forget about it but only ended up with a hangover and the thoughts of being inadequate and unloved coming in my head....

I never thought that my weight would be a driving force in my relationship... I have little to no motivation to do anything lately so losing weight has been incredibly hard... I almost feel like it’s not worth it. And I’m so upset with myself for letting me get here that I want to punish myself... I’ve been punching myself in the stomach a lot but I really want to cut to release some of the tension that’s built up..

I don’t know what to do. All I want is to be accepted and loved and if my boyfriend, the guy that I trust more than anything, doesn’t think I’m attractive anymore how the hell am I supposed to motivate myself?...

I just feel so lost and scared that he will leave and find someone with a better body than me... I have nothing to offer him.... so he might as well leave...

5 Replies

Oh Hun don't beat yourself up. If your boyfriend won't accept you in your tough times through weight gain or loss then he isn't the right one for you. He is very shallow if he doesn't want to be with you just because you have gained a bit of weight. Can you maybe start walking together? Try and do it together as a team and he support you through the weight loss goals you have? Try and love yourself first and tell yourself you are beautiful and that you are loved. Set yourself little goals first then work yourself up to bigger ones. X

He was with me the last time I gained and lost weight. This time I just can’t get myself to do anything about it. He works full time so we hardly see each other..

You are a beautiful woman!

Know your worth!


During the last 18-20days, you have posted on four different venues with different but connective issues.

You have gone from cutting your self to commenting that you had a good relationship, to your thyroid concerns, to thinking you should have break from your 4-year-old relationship, to now concerned that your relationship may be over due to your weight, and that your weight is being the cause of your challenges and your BF not finding you attractive anymore due to your weight and he might leave you. And now you are back to hurting yourself by punching yourself in the stomach and thinking about cutting again.

How about slowing down and look at the road you have traveled emotionally since becoming a member of the forums. It as though you are riding up and down on the waves like a surfer and you are back at the same original point of wanting to harm yourself, now due to your weight.

You have gained and lost a great deal of weight during the last 4 years. Food can sometimes be an addiction and difficult to manage. But it can be managed, Deciding your weight is the basic cause of all your issues is jumping the gun

May be a better approach, with the help of your therapist, to determine why the weight loss and gain cycle is happening and work on that first. Weight is not the cause of your anxiety and all your challenges, but anxiety can be the cause of the weight and self-harm issues.

You are needing professional help to stop hurting yourself already by punching your stomach and to ease your anxiety away from cutting as the next possibility. Please contact your therapist and ask for help, and set a session as soon as you are able. Take a copy of all your posts and replies with you so your therapist is able to do a quick read of what is happening and how you are feeling over the last few weeks. Will help your therapist to decide how to approach your mental and emotional condition quicker than if you tried to verbalize it to her/him. It doesn't need to stay this way, and I will be looking for some good news from you .xxx

I believe that this is unfair. After the birth of the child, my friend gained a lot of weight. I believe that this is unfair. After the birth of the child, my friend gained a lot of weight. Now she is trying to lose weight, she is on a diet and goes in for sports (she has a small child and very little free time, so she trains at home, she uses this mobile app ). I cann't say that she has lost a lot of weight in a month, but the result is. I don't understand why her husband accuses her of having gained weight. Did her husband not promise to love her in poverty and wealth, in health and in illness? I believe that you shouldn't lose weight just because your boyfriend wants so. You can only lose weight for yourself. I think that you will be fine. I wish you to be the favorite. You deserve it.

You may also like...