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Anxiety and Depression Support
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Seeking community

I'm new on this forum and thank you for reading my post. I've had clinical anxiety and depression my whole life, as long as I can remember. Panic attacks. Phobias. Eating disorder. All started in childhood and continue to this day despite years of medication, hospitalization, and therapy. My friends and family have stood beside me through it all, and I am truly blessed with their support and love. But I am seeking community with others who live with what I do, who truly know what it feels like. As of late, things have been getting harder. I turned 50 a few months ago, and with that milestone came a deep realization that this IS my life. It's not a passing phase, it's not something I'll grow out of. It is part of me. I need to come to terms with the disappointment and realization that I will battle this for the rest of my life. Does anyone have similar challenges or similar thoughts?

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Hi LunaGrace, Welcome to the Anxiety and Depression Forum. As the saying goes, "it is what it is" Those of us with anxiety, phobias and other mental disorders were most likely born with a predisposition to it. It is a part of who we are. I too had gone through meditation, hospitalization and tons of therapy. Severe Anxiety and Agoraphobia were my disorders. Educating myself about everything I could so that I could truly understand what I was dealing with. During that time I also found a book by Dr Claire Weekes entitled "Hope & Help for your Nerves." It became the basis for my accepting my life with Anxiety. Acceptance alone brought down a lot of the fear as well as finding ways to not let it control me anymore.

It took 30 years but I am a better person for it. As I struggled I learned about myself. I was stronger than anxiety. Anxiety didn't describe me, didn't stop me from living my life. With the help of this forum (which I didn't have) you will others who understand and care. No matter how long we have been suffering, it is never too late to change our ways in how we react to anxiety. Looking forward to you joining in on the responses as well as posting some things you may want to share. My best, Agora1 x

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i am in a very similar situation to yours, and am 55. I can't remember not being anxious and have been dealing with depression for over 30 years too. One thing i have come across in more than one source, is that for human beings change always brings some mourning. Even if you make a good change, you mourn that you no longer have the option of taking any of the other options. Even if you are in a good place now with your family, you may mourn all the lost or difficult years before. And with each year passing, there are more and more things you will no longer have the option to do. For example, you are unlikely to bear children at this age. You can't go back in time and make different choices so that you won't have hurt a loved one. I have to acknowledge these things, mourn them, and move on, making the best and healthiest choices I can from here on out. Somewhat related is forgiveness, foregiving myself and others for past hurts. I heard Oprah Winfrey say that one of the best definitions of forgiveness that she's heard is, "Giving up the hope that things could have been different." At first I thought that was weird, but I realized I have wasted a lot of time ruminating on the past and wishing that I and others had made different choices.

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