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Anxiety and Depression Support
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NO one to talk too

Having a little good and mostly BAD day. Called a friend who understand my anxiety she wasn't home. And don't want to talk to her about this all the time. Even though she said I can.

Afraid she won't answer my calls anymore. I know she's got things she's dealing with, she's in her 80's.

I have let her know that I'm here for her also and I have been. Trying to not worry about what's ahead cause I don't know? I'm trying to get rid of the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop? i think this came from my childhood that my mom always blamed me for things. Even now I'm always trying to do the right thing because I'm afraid of being blamed?

It's became kind of a OCD kind of thing and I'm in my 60's and tired of always second guessing myself and other people not trusting what their saying. Doctors, lawyers, family etc

Thanks to anyone who reads this even if there are no responses. At least I got to get it out.

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It's hard to not second guess everything. I do it all the time. I don't trust anything people say and then I feel guilty for not trusting people. Recently, I had a friend want to barter items we each sell. No big thing really. They are awesome people and have always been honest and supportive but in the back of my head I question if they are going to hold their end of the deal. Even today, they confirmed they are going to but I still struggle to believe it. I always feel like something bad is going to happen, someone is going to screw me over. It sucks.

I also don't know who to talk to because I don't want to burden anyone else with my issues but it would be nice to have someone that doesn't feel annoyed when I want to talk or tell me to just let it go and move on.

I hope your day got better.

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Thanks for support, so you know where I'm coming from?

My kids want to isolate and want me basically to get over it. I wish, I don't think anyone likes feeling this way? It feels like it's Never going to end??? I wanna just say AWWW one day. Everyday I wake up with a Knot in my stomach. I'm worried about my health.

Thanks for caring, you take care

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I do know where you are coming from. I went to a workshop thing a few months ago and I think the biggest thing I got from it was the fact that I was making up stories about my life. The voice in my head had my future planned out and it was mostly negative thoughts. I couldn't shut it off. If I thought about a situation, I made just this drastic story about what people were going to say, what I would say and then the result of the situation. All of this going through my head before anything even happened. Sometimes NOTHING happened. But I had anxiety over the thought that it MIGHT happen. Then someone pointed out to me how dumb I sounded by making up this novel about something that might not even happen. I struggle every day to not make up this stories but I'm at least aware of it now. It has gotten better. Some days are better than others for sure. I think it's a big step to be aware of what we are thinking and trying to stop it. Focus on the present. We can't change the past and we can't control the future so why are we wasting time on either of them. Well, the future we have to worry about to an extent but not to the point we are making ourselves sick. I still do it almost every day but to be aware of it and think it through in a different perspective has helped me a lot.

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I wish I could stop worrying about what is ahead too. That and just worrying about everything in general. I wish I could just relax like people tell me to do. I wish it was that easy.

The few family members I do have barely talk to me anymore. I know they avoid me and make excuses for why I never hear from them. I know they are just sick of me and my problems. No one wants to listen and I'm pretty sure they think I'm hopeless. When I do actually speak to them I try my best to just pretend like I'm​ fine. They like it better that way, and I feel like less of a bother that way I guess.

I second guess everything too. Not even second guess, more like second guess everything over and over multiple times. I don't trust anyone either. I isolate myself because it's comforting to me. It's so so lonely, but I don't have to worry so much about what anyone might do or what bad thing could happen.

I never know exactly what I'm afraid of, I just always feel like "something" is coming and I have to be on alert and ready for "it".

The only reason I can be so open and honest on here is because it's kind of anonymous. I don't open up to people because in my experience it just backfires on me. They look at me like I'm crazy or I get the pity eyes and I hate that.

If it's not that then they either just start acting weird around me or end up using my problems to hurt me somewhere down the line. My family also thinks I should just get over it and thinks I just don't care enough to or they think I'm just making excuses. I'm so sick and tired of trying to get them to understand that I have just given up on it.

So to end I will say I am so sorry for the long post, I have a problem with rambling on and on when I get on here. I guess because it's the only place I can let it out. If you ever need someone to talk to, vent to or whatever it may be just send me a message. I hope you have better days ahead.

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Can I call you K ? I don't think your Crazy. I don't mind your letters, we sometimes have to get it out and that's Ok.

Yea, I don't talk to anyone pretty much either they don't understand or do they care what I'm going through. In looking to move from where my kids live because that isn't good either. They want to isolate and critizie me as a way to deal with me. That hurts a lot. Anytime I say anything that isn't positive? They let me have it. I don't know where to go though...I've been looking for a room to rent and I'm a senior who's on a fixed income

The only place is my oldest daughter? But we don't have the best relationship either I don't believe I was a bad mother at all i was involved very much I think she resents that I remarried and had more children, her Not being the only child anymore she's kind of hinted to that in the pass

I usually have to be the one to call her So I feel alone also scared I don't know where I'm going to end up? Low housing for seniors can take years to get into? I want to thank you for reading my long letter going on and on

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Oh yes you can definitely call me K. The crazy part is more of a nickname because my family calls me crazy all the time. My little nephew calls me Crazy KayKay. It's cute when he does it though.

I understand how you feel being isolated and criticized. My boyfriend does that to me all the time. He says he is just frustrated with me because I don't do anything according to him and I should be so much better than him he says. He will say you're a 30 yr old woman that can't get past her childhood. He pretty much tells me I'm hopeless and no one can help me. I tell him that he's wrong but I worry if maybe he's right.

I too wish I could figure out a way to move away from him. I have no way of providing for my son or myself right now though. I have lost everything I had while fighting with my bf to get off heroin. That's a whole other story​, but it ended with me being how I am now. Of course he has a great job now that I helped him get and a new car. I don't resent him for that but I do resent how he constantly throws that in my face.

I too have to be the one to call if I want to talk to my family. I once went like 6 months without speaking to my mom just because I was waiting to see if she would call me. I feel like I'm just bothering them if I call. She interprets it as I only call when I need something. I understand how she could feel that way but I can't tell her the truth so I just leave it how it is.

I hope we can both figure out something better for ourselves. That is horrible it takes that long to get into senior housing. I wish there were more resources available for people like us. Also thank you for reading all my long posts and responding. It's nice to just have someone to listen and understand.

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Your welcome,. I just had 2 conversations with 2 people who where of NO help.

My girlfriend is very honest, but says it in a harsh way. It's Stressful to hear things that way, my ANxeity level went up higher before that my boyfriend was harsh by asking me did I get out today? I tell him what he wants to hear so he'll STOP.

Was just looking for some support? Kind words sometimes is all that's needed. I've been looking for a room to rent, my GOD people like I guess want you to pay their mortgage??? Their asking for $1,700-$2,000 a month!!! I'd get my own place for that amount?

Well, keep in touch...thanks for your kind and supporting words. I WISH they come from family n friends? Your a SPECIAL person to take the time for someone else. 😊

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I'm sorry to hear that. It sucks when it's that way with the people we love the most. That kind of stuff always gets my anxiety soaring, usually to the point I feel sick.

My anxiety also gets triggered by how others speak to me. I can't handle harsh tones or yelling. I go into shut down mode when that happens.

So when my boyfriend isn't happy with me he of course chooses to yell at me. I do a lot of things I don't want to do and say things I don't mean to try and keep him happy. I hate it but I feel like that's all I can do.

I don't know where you live, but that sounds outrageous to me! I thought it was expensive where I'm at. You could rent a house where I'm at cheaper than that. I was trying to find out if I could receive help for housing earlier and I just got really overwhelmed and had to stop. I hope we both get into a better living situation soon.

Thank you for talking with me, and for your kind words. I really appreciate it. It is so nice just to be able to talk with someone. I will definitely keep in touch. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

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Your welcome, I'd love for us to keep in touch. Thanks for your kind and understanding words also 😊

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Hope this day will be a good one for you. You deserve that.

I can relate to second guessing even though I know something is right I will re check and recheck. It’s hard not to worry about what is ahead; what helps me is mindfulness practice, paying attention in present with out judging. It really can be helpful.

I does help to get things out. How are you doing now?

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P.s. I don’t know but I bet your friend doesn’t mind listening just like you do for her.

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Hi Starr thanks for keeping in touch. My friend hasn't replied to my call. Don't want to keep calling her. But that is a good idea focusing on the present.

There is someone I was looking to call for some reassurance, one of my kids just came home unexpectedly. So I feel I can't call my friend ? Because if my kids hear me? I'll get criticized cause they want me to stop it. I've gone over it with them that it doesn't work like that? I don't have the energy to battle with her today.

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Oh yeah that is understandable that you don’t want to call your friend again. Sorry to hear you get criticized for reaching out. (((((PJRR)))))

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Yea, it's hard especially coming from family. She keeps coming upstairs so it's hard to have a conversation with anyone, thanks for writing 😊

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Hey I just did a sketch I am happy with and am about to write in my gratefulness journal. I wonder if jotting a few frustrations or anything really, would help you, another way to release. ? Just a thought.

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That's a good idea!!! Going to try that...every little bit helps 😊

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