emptiness

[Carbicide17]

i wonder why some people feel empty even though they have almost all means to entertain themselves. some people are even surrounded by very supporting friends, family, pets, community. some didn't even experience such trauma but why feel empty? they could concentrate on their work, studies, etc., but why can't they ignore the destructive thoughts?

ah. i'm tired being like this.

im tired of envying people who got their shit together. they even got worse trauma than mine, but they still manage to live and be optimistic about everything.

[fauxartist]

my depression is chemical. My great grandmother, grandmother, mother, to me and now a couple grand kids are showing signs of it to varying degrees. I take an antidepressant that levels out my chemical imbalance for the most part. Now I have fever full blow bad days, and the overall sadness has diminished a lot. You may want to talk to your doctor see what they say.

[Carbicide17 in reply to fauxartist]

i am not clinically diagnosed tho. i wanna get checked but i got no money for the meds and therapy sessions. i also tried to seek support from my family but i got none, so i expect no financial support from them. been suffering for 8 years and even though i've got friends to share it my problems with, i always find myself getting very secretive. i cant just tell it to them for unknown reasons.

[fauxartist in reply to Carbicide17]

try to find out if you are eligible for any programs that may help you. I had no money either, and found some pay as you can type things out there. Others here may have some suggestions in that area.

[Carbicide17 in reply to fauxartist]

thank you. will consider that suggestion.