Anxiety and Depression Support
22,941 members21,093 posts

I love him

I love him. Even though he has a short fuse and gets mad at me easily I do. My husband and I have been together 12 years. The first 5 years or so we're magical. We were one of those couples in the clinche romance movies. Were you watch it and go no one acts like that. I miss the old us. The couple that used to look at each other and say we're going to spend the rest of our lives together. When we would stay up talking all hours of the night. When he used to tell me I was beautiful. Looking back now it seems so unreal. But I miss it , I miss it so much. I still love him but I'm pretty sure he doesn't love me. Well he might love me but he certainly doesn't like me. He hasn't called me beautiful in about 5 years. To be honest I have gained weight and I am no longer the model trophy girlfriend. Now I'm just a dumpy naggy wife. I wish things could change. I want them to be perfect again . I want our one year old son to see how his father loves me and treats me with respect. Is it me? Or is it him? Who's the problem. I would say we both have issues we have to work out. I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same and that depresses me to no end. I want to make love and have our amazing sex life back. Now he wants to be rude to me all day and then at night I'm just supposed to spread my legs for him? I try to tell him that's not how this works. Then he guilt trips me for not wanting to have sex just one night. Please universe , God anyone who is out there listening , bring back my old amazing thoughtful husband . I miss him .

2 Replies

I'm so sorry you have to feel this way. I know first hand many of the feelings your feeling. These are such difficult emotions that take your self worth and self esteem and all your confidence .. But I swear you are worth it. You made him a beautiful baby and you are not the problem. He should appreciate and respect you. And as for sex its something you both have to enjoy for it to be meaningful. If your aren't comfortable with it because of the way he treats you then that should say something about the current status of the relationship big time. I think while you are depressed and have low self esteem, he is suffering from some anger issues and probably some more deeper personal issues that need to be dealt with before you starts acting out in a more emotionally and verbally abusive way... Its unfair to you and your baby. . have you said any of the things you've mentioned to him at all? Perhaps that's the first step. To have a little courage and put your foot down on the subject of your hurt feelis and the struggling intimacy.

1 like

Hi I am afraid the Universe isn't going to do anything and ultimately it will be up to you how much abuse you are willing to accept from this man. I think the more you put up with it the more he will do it and the worse it will get. if you are going to stay with him you need to lay down some emotional boundaries.

If he only wants a model trophy girlfriend then he must be very shallow and obviously can't cope with a real woman. The fault isn't in you but him. x

1 like

You may also like...