Anxiety and Depression Support
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Messy relationship and uncertain future

Hello! I hope You all atre fine, I need help please:

I know almost everybody has a very bad opinion on long distance relationships, and I have as well honestly!! however I am having one since last february, and I haven't seen my boyfriend for nearly 7 months now, because he is from Palestine, while I live in Italy (and I am actually italian). We both are students, we met in Europe in september 2016, fell in love, we tried to managed our relationships despite the obstacles. I know it sounds crazy, but i still believe in this story, even though I am experiencing the pains of hell sometimes.. My mind is so set on my guy and i can't wait to see him again, which will happen *I dont't know when nor where*. This is distressing me sooo much! December was such a lovely month for me, i was fine almost everyday, busy and happy thanks to celebrations and preparations. But now things are getting so tough again these days. I can't stop having breakdowns and crying in front of him on videocalls and he can not handle me at all. He is looking for an internship in Europe for the summer, so that I can reach him and stay together for some time. But at the same time, he is so anxious about not finding anything... in that case he asked me to visit him in his country, I really would love to, even though i am terrorized! I know this could sound close-minded, but I am really afraid of travelling alone and maybe risk my life with my anxious parents' money. However, he really seems not to understand this, he behaves in a harsh way with me and gets offended when he sees that I am so uncertain about it. He says he would travel wherever to meet me, but he wants me to do efforts too. I am so afraid of our feature that I thought several times about letting this relationship go because of the troubles it causes, but I really can't do it. I feel I am too bound to it, and that without the hope to see him again, my life will be crappy and empty. I feel such a fragile person, I am very emotional and sometimes needy. On the countrary he is a very determined young man, who keeps everything inside. I am in love with him and at the same time I am afraid of him; I know he would survive equally well without me. So now, while I am trying just to focus on my exams, my graduation and maybe finding a job, I also feel that I need to grow detached from him, until some solutions will come... I almost feel as if i am obsessed, and it is so difficult for me to let things go. What can I do?

1 Reply

you have answered your own questions. you know what to do. the 'I'm afraid of him' is a red flag in any relationship. distance yourself, don't be a nervous traveller in life. your 'gut' is screaming at you to let go. I'm not going to patronize you by saying there are plenty more fish in the sea... but, being on your own now and then is healthy until you meet someone who is emotionally and physically safe to be in a relationship with.


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