Just over a year ago my dad surprised me with a puppy at in n out when I got back from a retreat for women who’ve been sexually assaulted/sexually abused before 18. Little did we know how crazy he was going to be when he felt at home. My dog is my life but I struggle so bad just to take him outside to potty and poo. Recently which please don’t judge on this because it’s the only time it’s ever happened and I was having a bad day as it was. He took a poo in the house and I got upset so I went to spank him and he bit me super hard which triggered me and I got so upset I broke something valuable which luckily my dads ex bought it for me so I don’t even feel bad about breaking it. I’m stuck in this apartment everyday all day and it’s not helping my depression and anxiety at all. It’s making it worse. My dad wants me to get rid of him but I still can’t bring myself to it. I feel like balling my eyes out. He’s basically a child. He poops and I get upset. Why? Because I for the longest time have always had to take care of someone or something and I hate it. He’s not potty trained and that’s my fault. I let my depression get the best of me and I blame my mom for giving me mental illness. I can already tell I’m becoming her because of my anger. We’re moving out of state soon and I honestly think that’s going to rid my anger. I have so much built up because I was raped here, that I take that anger out on my dad and dog and anyone else who wants to be close to me. I want to keep him more than anything in the world and my dad said he’d stop telling me to get rid of him but I need extra help I’m taking care of my dog while I heal. Honestly we’re moving 20 he’s away from where we live, we’re moving to my dads gfs house in a few months. She has a son and we’ve been through such similar things, I think he and I could be best friends. I really need someone who understands what I go through. I need a good friend... please any tips on what to do about my dog and if I keep him how do I get out of my own head and be a better dog mom and all that? My dogs like my child. I prefer him over an actual kid tbh.