Starting recovery for anxiety disorder

[Myabba]

I am grateful to find this group. My sister and loved ones are not supportive of my disorder. They cannot understand. It hurts to be rejected by them when I need them the most. Anxiety and depression are still taboo and carry a stigma. I must say I never knew anxiety could become this extreme and be so agonizing until it happened to me. I look forward to talking to others who struggle and can understand, and give support.

[deborah27]

do you know where your anxiety comes from?

[Myabba in reply to deborah27]

Yes, I have had and been medicated for years for GAD but this disorder is on a whole different level. I can pinpoint it to last may, I went off my last anxiety med. Zyprexa and within the same time, left my husband, an getting a divorce, lost my job, had serious financial problems. This created the perfect storm and my anxiety escalated. I now have serious ( but I'm learning not life threatening or dangerous but still debilitating) physical symptoms. It's been a terrible few months.

[deborah27 in reply to Myabba]

certainly a lot going on for you, really understandable that you feel so rubbish. isn't it such a complete annoyance that when we try to make changes and move on with our lives that the most horrendous physical symptoms of anxiety make life even more difficult!! keep going, I'm trying too to overcome my own perfect storm, we must be stronger than we think. x

[Myabba in reply to deborah27]

Thanks Deborah, that’s my sisters name. Are you from the UK? I feel stronger tonite. I cried on and off all day. Utterly hopeless. I feel a Teeny tiny bit of hope tonite. Someone must be praying for me. I’ll pray for you🙏🏼 It says in the Bible that there’s strength in weakness. I think it’s because we turn it over to God when we’re so weak and exhausted from the battle. Then he can finally work in us and be our strength. I’m a controlling person, I’ve been fighting this anxiety tooth and nail thinking if I just tried harder, read more books, took different medicine , saw new doctors. Maybe it’s time to lay it all down.

[deborah27 in reply to Myabba]

yes, I'm in northern Ireland. interesting that you mention that you are a controlling type of person. I've often thought that anxiety is connected to a need to make everything perfect, be the best we can be, setting high standards... like a constant power struggle with ourselves. maybe letting go and as the saying goes; 'stop a while and smell the roses' wouldn't be such a bad idea! x

[Myabba in reply to deborah27]

Deborah, I think you’re exactly right. Maybe we try to make everything perfect thinking that it’s up to US to make them so. We fear the future and worry incessantly about the what if’s . If I make a mistake at work I beat myself up for days cuz it wasn’t done “perfectly” I think about my struggling children and their issues with their own anxiety or self esteem and I know it’s me that messed them up because I didn’t parent perfectly( and oh how I tried to be perfect) I could go on. The point is in our need to have all things right and perfect are actually unattainable. If we hang on to this need for perfection we will always be miserable. We are all sinners, we are all broken, we cannot be perfect. I’m going to try to stay in my day today, not project fear into the future where I have NO control. Live and love in this one day. If it gets hard, if I feel hopelesss, I will ask God for the strength to live this one day or each moment if need be. I don’t have to do it on only my power. He is a good father.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, yes it is AWFUL and do not pay attention to the nay Sayers, 40 million people are subject to this debilitating disease I being one of them. Seek out a therapist who will help you with anxiety, and if need be see a Dr. and get some med's I am on 2. Be true to your self and find a support group if you can. I am with you as are many others on this web site, we send you strength, love and hugs. Sprinkle 1