Ugh I’m so not good tonight. After a panic attack and now I feel like I’m working myself up again. This is nonsense but why am I fixated??
I emailed a friend today telling them that I miss them. I wondered why we hadn’t talked...really talked...in quite some time. I’m so anxious now. It made me feel better for a little bit and lighter that I had stuck up for myself, but now I feel so silly and stupid and annoying and dumb.
He’s not going to respond and I ruined our friendship and now if I go to places where he is, it’s going to be awkward. Did I just lose a friend? I don’t know why this happened. Did I make it all up or did I do something to end it? Or did he just want to use me until he found another girl. One who wasn’t just his friend. So now maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore.