Thanks so much for your encouragement. I am now at 82 Days and feel better, as far as cravings and bad behavior.
I am still horrible on the anxiety and depression. This is the worst situation in my life. I love and Cherish my wife and only want the best for her and my step spent New Years line.
I realized today, while finally getting the tattoo, that I have wanted forever, that I must get balanced and healthy for myself, before I can do for others.
Sad that I have been been to rehab 5 times and 1 detox to get this. Plus, I am working in a job that will release me as soon as they can. The contract is very clear, morality 101, you are released immediately, if the administrators have documented or physical evidence. Or, they can fire me on suspicion on the spot if there is no-compliance. A every day, waiting for the other shoe to drop. A sad state to be in.
My Wife is getting more hostile and now has said that she does not even want my touch, cringing away from me. We are both very physical people. Hand holding, kiss good morning, again when we get home and as we go to sleep. And as if to add insult to injury, she does not want me to even come to the house If she is there. I ran out the door yesterday to keep from her having to see me. And we both ended up spending New Year’s Eve and day alone. God, we are out of balance.
WHAT???? That was it for me and I came out blazing. Well, needless to say,nothing was done, except me apologizing, that qhelped either one of us. She threatened to call the Sheriffs if I did not leave. I was trying to get a time to pick up most of my stuff. She refused to cooperate on any level. Sigh. It is the never ending nightmare. The next day finds a way to get worse.
I hope I get to move tomorrow. At least I have 1 on 1 therapy tomorrow. Thanks for reading and your feedback.