Back home and back to REALITY

[Rosa09]

Its not yet a year since me and partner split after 15 years. He came to pick his things up early December stayed 4 hours and had his dinner and said we could be friends, but I can't be friends knowing he is still looking for someone else and after he had gone I took a backward step in getting over him. Whether it is this or just Depression but I have just come home from my sisters and alone again I have felt alone although been with family over the hoilidays) . I feel so bad it physically hurts inside being alone and feeling so depressed, missing my ex and feeling there is no point in anything at all when you have no one to share life with. I am now 65 and wonder if I could ever find love again. Sometimes I feel that I don't want to be here anymore feeling like this all the time, but I wouldn't do anything about it, just have to carry on struggling.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I can certainly understand your pain. I was divorced from my sons father. It was very rocky. I didn’t feel like I would ever be loved again. Then I ended up falling in love and getting married. He is an alcoholic. It’s been 18 years and we are roommates at best. We even sleep in different shifts. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to be alone if I wasn’t married. The problem with losing my first husband is that during that time I never took the time to love myself. Which makes it hard moving forward either way. Start by learning to love yourself. Doing the things you enjoy and making yourself happy. Possibly get a hobby, or join a group and volunteer. I actually got a very part time job to allow me to get out of the house and socialize. It can be physically challenging for me but I find I look forward to it. I enjoy talking to the people I work with and the regulars. I once even took a sewing class. It was a lot of fun. Love yourself and others will too!

My best friend is my dog Tater Tot. She is a blessing to me. I love her so much. I only work one night a week and otherwise am usually home alone. Cuddling my girl who loves me unconditionally.

I hope you find your love.