I've been feeling really good for the past couple of days, and now I'm feeling depressed, and I am beginning to think that it's in a small way related to the amount of control that I feel I have over my circumstances. Currently, doing Christmas decorations at my in laws house, I feel like I am in a position where I have very little control over what's going on. Things are crazy, and my father in law and everybody else wants to try and cram all of the traditions in at the last minute. I am overwhelmed because I feel like I have very little say in what goes on. All I can do is follow orders. When I get overwhelmed like this, I get very depressed, and I begin to shut down. I want to say, "Just screw it all, and lets for once enjoy the traditions that we can, rather than be stressed about trying to do everything." But I know THAT won't fly. I just feel stuck at Christmas, like there is no way out of these traditions. For Pete's sake, I'm the father and leader of my own small family! Let me take charge of what's mine!
Anyway, just ranting. I can't really talk to my own family about this because I'd be butting heads and stabbing backs big time. I just want Christmas to be simple. A small tree, a few decorations, hot chocolate or eggnog, going caroling, and focusing on what Christmas is all about: peace, joy, love, and our good Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To those who read this, thanks for listening. Again, I'm so thankful for Health Unlocked, where I can speak my mind and people will understand.