Faith

When things get rough God shows up! I felt like I was having a rough day. I was so exhausted. Then my daughter in law called to tell me my grandson was having a Christmas pageant. I was thinking noooooo! I’m tired. “Every day is not a good day but there is something good in every day!” So I got my clothes on got ready and went. My precious grandson may not be blood but he is love. First on the way there, tired a big bird flew up and slammed my windshield. Scared the bejeezus out of me. I screamed so loud my eyes watered and I got mascara running down my cheek. I turned on the radio to Christian station and the music was so good I ended up singing and dancing around. Then I get there and other than his mom and dad I was his only other family member. The show and Music was so cute. A very small child sang so loud it sounded like she was screaming but everyone loved it. Adorable. She didn’t know all the words but the ones she did she blasted them. Kind of like life. Sometimes we don’t know but when we do we blast it! ❤️ Anyway my grandson was so stinking cute!!! He was wearing a dress shirt, dress pants, a tie and cowboy boots. That’s my boy. He’s cute anyway but he was the only one that was getting down dancing! So cute! I got a video. Most of the other kids, even the adorable screamer, were standing perfectly straight singly so cute. But my grandson.. he was grooving in his cowboy boots! 🤠 Man my heart needed that! I’ve been alone so much I think I’ve gotten used to it. My anxiety (and yours) tells me not to do things. I almost listened. I just truly thank God I didn’t. After the program he came toward his parents I had walked up behind and as soon as he saw me he came running right past his parents to hug me! He said he was looking for me. My heart melted. He said grandma we get to go have snacks! You and me love snacks! I’m just like my grandma. I don’t know if he knows we aren’t blood but if he does he doesn’t know the difference. He is constantly saying he takes after his grandma. I was there the day he was born. He’s my grand baby. I love him so much! I’m sitting here thinking of all the things I’ve missed in my life due to anxiety. What a waste. If any of them were like tonight I regret it more than you could ever know. What a wonderful day it was. Even though I thought it wasn’t. The first half of the day was stressful but...it got me up and moving. It made me so tired but...I have trouble sleeping so that will help. I got in my jammies early but...I got to go see my grandson instead. What a blessing that was. So take it from me, don’t let anxiety dictate your life. I have missed so much! Seeing what you’ve been missing really shines a light on things. It’s late for me. The happy times and experiences are few and far between. Don’t be like me! Just go, do, see, experience! Another thing, if I hadn’t gone I wouldn’t have seen those sweet doggy faces looking out the window so excited to see me and gotten that excited greeting when I got in. Now I can go to bed tired and hopefully get some good rest. Much love and God bless you all! ❤️

4 Replies

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  • Way to go and do and be there for your grandson!!!! Thank you for encouraging everyone to do the “hard thing,” and go and live!

    I hope you sleep well!

  • I’m heading there very soon! The pageant and my sweet grandson perked me up some from how tired I was but happiness helps me sleep just as much. The physical energy I have used today will help though. 😉

  • Lovely to read shawny glad you had a great day in thr end. Anxiety as held me back in live but I'm trying to realise whats important. My two boys 3 and 18 months are amazing, hardwork of course lol. I worry about work jobs money etc to the point I'm not in the moment.

  • Don’t take so much time making a living you forget to live. Your kids won’t remember that dollar you gave them but they will remember the time they spent with you. When mine were young I was so focused on their lives I forgot to make one for myself. Then one left for college and one to join the army and I was left with nothing. Empty nest syndrome i s real my friend! The quiet after 2 rambunctious boys was awful. I had no friends. I never tried. I now have my grandson and I find myself giving a lot up for the chance to be with him. Not that I have much anyway. I still have no friends. I just sit here, go to doctors or my one day a week job so that if they need me for my grandson I’m available. I didn’t learn a thing with my own boys but I do the wrong thing so I can tell you how awful it is. They grow up in what seems like the blink of an eye so enjoy it while you can. Any chance you get.

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